The Fellowship, Fangirls, and Kiwis
by hobbitgirls
Summary: We go on Spring Break with the Fellowship and insanity insues, as usual
1. Default Chapter

The Fellowship, Fangirls, And Kiwis  
  
Chapter 1: Spring Break Begins.  
  
A/N~ The Fellowship is back by popular demand. Well, actually, it was Kitty's whining about "I want Leggy! I want my husband!" that's bringing them back as this was written before fic #2 was typed up. Here I go again! Christy's POV (I'm also typing this one).  
  
Disclaimer: We own nothing except what you don't know as Tolkien's and cookies.  
  
Aragorn: Cookies?  
  
Me: Yep.  
  
Boromir: What kind of cookies?  
  
Aragorn: Snickerdoodles? *uses puppy dog face*  
  
Me: Maybe...  
  
Random Fangirl: *comes running in holding snickerdoodles* Here's a snickerdoodle, baby!  
  
Aragorn: YEA!!! Now, go away! *grabs cookies*  
  
Boromir: Can I have one too?  
  
Aragorn: No. They're all mine!  
  
Me: I'll give you some chocolate chip cookies, Boromir.  
  
Boromir: YEA!!  
  
Me: Anyhoo, back to the disclaimer. I own nothing except myself, Kitty, Vanessa, Courtney, and Alex.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Three...two...one!" I counted down/yelled with my fellow classmates.  
  
"It's Spring Break! FINALLY!" I shouted in relief and ran into the hall where I was greeted by the sight of Vanessa doing the "squirrel dance". Alex was standing across the hall from her shaking his head in disbelief.  
  
"What is she doing?" he asked me, his face reflecting the horror I felt.  
  
"I dunno. Let's leave before she sees us!" I suggested.  
  
"Very funny!" Vanessa interjected rolling her eyes. "Let's go find Kits and Courtney and get outta here!" She was eager to leave as the four of us girls were going to New Zealand for Spring Break (A/N~ yes, this was written a while ago.) and had to get ready fast because our plane was going to leave at 7:00 PM and we had Houston traffic and airport security to deal with.  
  
"OK, but we gotta get my cell from class because it got taken up," I told her.  
  
"Why?" she asked.  
  
"Because someone (I stared pointedly at Alex) kept text messaging me during class."  
  
"Oh. Court. Kitty. Over here!" Vanessa called and waved at them. They came over and walked with Vanessa and me to my class to get my phone after we all said good-bye to Alex (mine included a smack).  
  
.~*~. Meanwhile, in Middle-Earth .~*~.  
  
"Please, Gandalf? Please, please, PLEASE? Can we go see the girls?" Merry, Pippin, and Legolas begged.  
  
"I miss my wife!!" Legolas declared for the, seemingly, 1000th time that day.  
  
"Fine! We shall go!" Gandalf yelled, losing his temper. "Everyone, step back." As soon as everyone had done as he had commanded, something shot out of his staff. It was circular, constantly swirling, never one color, and just hung in mid-air.  
  
"Well, what are you waiting for?" Gandalf demanded, startling everyone out of their reveries. One by one they jumped, or 'slid', through.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Wow! That was cool!" I exclaimed as the Fellowship fell through the wormhole into my English classroom (Thank goodness that my teacher had just left after giving my cell phone back). "That was just like 'Sliders'!" I added as I helped the closest guy up. It was Gimli.  
  
"Thank you for the assistance, lass," Gimli said. "What is this 'Sliders' you mentioned?"  
  
I looked at Kitty for assistance in explaining the show and giggled. She and Legolas were in the corner making out already.  
  
"Never mind," I told him as Merry came over to me. "Hi!" was all I managed to get out before he tackled me and started kissing.  
  
"I don't think he missed her at all," Courtney laughed, rolling her eyes.  
  
"Yes, he did," Aragorn said. "He begged to come see her at least five times a day...OH! You were joking! I get it! Haha!" he trailed off.  
  
"Wow, he's brilliant!" Vanessa commented from where she was siting next to Pippin, who looked a little green, probably from the trip.  
  
"Did you miss me?" Gandalf asked hopefully, sitting down next to Vanessa.  
  
"Ugh! NO!" she protested; scooting the desk she was sitting on closer to the one Pippin was currently occupying.  
  
"Umm...guys...what are we going to do with them?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Take them with us, of course!" Kitty answered as she and Legolas finished saying 'hello' to each other. "I'm sure they'd love to see New Zealand."  
  
"Well, let's go!" I said grabbing the keys to Vanessa's surburban from her purse. "It might be a tight squeeze in the car, but that's alright. You wanna drive, Court?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
A/N~ OK, sucky, I know. But it's YOUR turn now Nessa. I got them here, now what do we do with them? Here's an Easter egg: John Rhys-Davies starred in 'Sliders' as Professor Maximillian Arturo. And that is the end of your daily crap! Hehehe! ^.^  
  
P.S. Don't forget to review!!!! 


	2. Getting Ready

Chapter 2: Getting Ready  
  
A/N~ Hehehe. That was a funny chappie, Christy. World Geography is so not cool. Only 15 more minutes. Oh, are you done reading my fics yet? I'm tired of working on them because that's all I had for company in Colorado. And I'm still mad at De for meeting Viggo. And didja know: my mom likes Viggo! Gross!  
  
A/N2~ I agree that is gross that your mom likes a guy we like!!! Again, same drill as on Vanessa's typing. On my chapters I'm A/N but on her chapters I'm A/N2. Wow! It seems like forever ago that we wrote this! ^.^  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: You know the drill. We own nothing, although that may change.  
  
Boromir: Why?  
  
Me: I have a plan.  
  
Aragorn: What is it? Are you gonna take over the world?  
  
Me: No, that's Kitty's plan. I'm a bit subtler.  
  
Boromir: Can you tell us?  
  
Me: No.  
  
Aragorn & Boromir: *puppy dog faces* Pwease?  
  
Me: NO!  
  
Aragorn: Why not?  
  
Me: I like you both alive. Boromir & Aragorn: Oh. We'll shut up now.  
  
Me: Good.  
  
"Is there going to be enough room for us all?" I asked eyeing my suburban cautiously.  
  
"Of course there is," Courtney said. "Me and Strider up front; you, Christy, and Boromir in the second row; the hobbits and Gimli in the third row and Kits, Legolas, and Gandalf in back." (A/N2~ Does Court actually expect Kitty and Leggo to behave?)  
  
"Oh," I nodded. "But, can I sit next to Boromir, Christy?" I whispered. "I wanna see how long I can poke him before he goes nutzo on me."  
  
"Fine. I don't wanna be by him anyway. Why can't he and Strider trade places?"  
  
"No! I wanna poke Pincushion Boi!" I whined a little too loudly because Boromir overheard me.  
  
"Don't make me sit next to her!" he cried, pointing at me.  
  
"Oh, you know you love me."  
  
"Hey!" Pippin yelled from the back.  
  
"I don't love you!" Boromir yelled.  
  
"And why not?" Pippin asked.  
  
"But...but...I thought..." Boromir was at a loss for words. If he said he loved me, Pippin would kill him. If he said he didn't, Pippin would kill him. "Oh, never mind!"  
  
I smiled. "I win!"  
  
"Alright, everyone get in the car. I still need to go home and pack," Courtney said, motioning everyone into the suburban.  
  
"So do I." Christy piped in.  
  
"Me too!" I whined. (A/n~ I sound like a whiny baby.)  
  
"Kitty, what about you? Do you still need to pack?" Courtney asked, looking around. "Kitty? Kitty?"  
  
Kitty broke apart form kissing her husband. "Huh? What? I wasn't listening."  
  
"Well, that's obvious," I muttered.  
  
Legolas's Elven hearing heard my comment, though. "Watch it, Vanessa."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
"Come on, guys," Courtney sighed. "We're gonna miss our flight!"  
  
So everyone piled into my suburban and we headed to Christy's house so she could pack. When we got there she hopped out and Merry began to follow.  
  
"Nope!" I grabbed him by the collar of his shirt. "We don't have time enough to wait for you guys to finish 'greeting' each other."  
  
Christy piled back into the car and we headed towards Kitty's house. We could hear Kitty and Legolas's 'greeting' all throughout the car.  
  
"Will you two kindly knock it off?" Christy asked. "Why did we ever stick her back there with him anyway?"  
  
"I dunno," I shrugged. "It was Court's idea."  
  
"I thought they would have a little more self control than that," Court said in her defense.  
  
"What about Gandalf?" I asked. "I thought he was back there with them. Pippin, look back there and check on him."  
  
"Do I have to?" he whined.  
  
"I bought a new bikini..." (A/N2~ I guess she doesn't realize it's fall (and close to winter) down there...)  
  
"I'm looking! I'm looking!"  
  
I turned around around and smiled at Christy. "I have him under my control."  
  
"Vanessa, I'm sorry (NO I'M NOT!!!!) but I don't think anyone but him wants to see you in your new swimsuit," Christy said.  
  
"Hey! That's not very nice!" I complained.  
  
"It's true though."  
  
"Oh, come on! Who here wants to see? Come on, raise your hands." No one but Pippin and I raised hands.  
  
"Well! This hurts!" I said. "Kitty? Stop smooching with Eggo-My-Leggo boi and get your stuff."  
  
She hurried out of the car and came back out with only a carry-on bag five minutes later.  
  
"Vanessa, I'm just gonna drop you off and I'll come pick you up when I'm done. OK?" Courtney asked. "Thanks to the guys we're running late."  
  
"Whatever. Does anybody want to come inside and get something to drink?" The hobbits, Kitty, and Legolas raised their hands. "I wonder why they're thirsty," I whispered to Boromir.  
  
Courtney dropped me and the others off at my house and she drove off down the street to her house.  
  
"There's drinks in the fridge and in the pantry. I'll be right back," I said and headed up the stairs and towards my room to pack. When I can back down I found multiple different beverages and snacks on the ground. "What did you guys do?!" I screamed. "I was gone 10 minutes! You know what? Don't even try to explain. Just help me clean up this up before my mom and sister get home."  
  
Fifteen minutes later I heard the garage door open and the sound of my mom's BMW could be heard. "Oh, great! My mom doesn't know about you guys! Umm...everyone except Kitty hide in the art room."  
  
My mom came through the back door and out to me when she saw the mess. "Vanessa! What did you do?"  
  
"I'm thinking she's mad about the little mess," I whispered. "Come on, guys, we'll sneak out the front and wait for Courtney." I ushered everyone out the door and towards the corner. "That was close!"  
  
"Can we sit down?" Sam asked. I nodded and all four of the hobbits fell to the ground.  
  
"Pippin, come here," I commanded. He walked over slowly; debating whether or not to be excited since the mess was his fault.  
  
"I'm sorry for making the mess," he said quietly.  
  
"What? So it was you. That's not what I was going for but OK. I just wanted to talk because we haven't seemed to have the time."  
  
Just then, Courtney drove up to the curb.  
  
"We'll talk later, I guess," I said. "Court, can I drive now? I drive the fastest anyway."  
  
She looked at Christy cautiously, but handed me the keys anyway.  
  
"Yea!" I squealed. "Everyone, buckle up, this is going to be one heck of a ride!"  
  
A/N~ Finally! I'm done. It took me an hour to write four pages. Anyway...GO CHRISSY!! (I'm a slutty cheerleader!)  
  
A/N2~ First, I'd like to say, I'm sorry to any and all cheerleaders that were offended by her remark. I'm also sorry if there are any typing mistakes in here as this was typed late at night while I'm waiting to see if a Stargate SG-1 rerun is gonna be on. See ya the next chapter.  
  
Don't click the 'next chapter' button until you review!!! 


	3. Airport and Arrival

Chapter 3: Airport and Arrival  
  
A/N~ Interesting chapter. I don't think I have anything to write here, so on with the story.  
  
Aragorn: Wait!  
  
Me: What?  
  
Boromir: What about the disclaimer?  
  
Me: Oh, yeah. I guess we should do that, huh?  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: Yeah, don't want to get sued.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Once again, we own nothing. We are not getting money from this contrary to what our very first reviewer (it was a flamer) believes.  
  
Boromir: So, wait. If you own nothing how come you have to constantly write this? Wouldn't you tell them if you did own something?  
  
Me: Yep. But that's the way the world of fanfiction works.  
  
Aragorn: Alright. Well, what happens next in the story?  
  
Me: Just wait and find out.  
  
"Vanessa, I thought you said you drove fast," I said hopping out of the car.  
  
"I do," she argued as the others fell out after me.  
  
"Whatever," I answered. "Come on, now we have to buy nine more tickets for our flight and get through security. Sorry, guys, but you're gonna have to leave your swords in the car. Bows and arrows too, Legolas and Aragorn. They won't let you on the plane with them."  
  
The men, reluctantly, set their weapons in the back of the suburban and we covered them with a sheet I had brought along for that reason.  
  
After waiting in line for several minutes, it was our turn.  
  
"Um, could I have nine more tickets for flight 210 to New Zealand?" I asked the woman behind the counter.  
  
"There are nine seats left, but two of them are in first class," she answered.  
  
"Fine, we'll take 'em. Let's go guys," I said as I paid the woman. "Now we get to go through security. JOY!"  
  
After about thirty minutes we made it through.  
  
"Finally we're on our way!" Kitty shouted. She's a very impatient person so Legolas was constantly 'calming her down' to the dismay of everyone else.  
  
"Who gets the first class seats?" Courtney asked as they called for boarders.  
  
"Merry and I do," I told them as we walked to the gate.  
  
"Why you?" Vanessa and Kitty whined.  
  
"Because I bought their tickets. Also I hadn't wanted to use my shopping money now (yes, I like to shop & I got more too!), but I had to if we wanted them to come, therefore I get to choose who gets them and I say me," I answered.  
  
"Oh, well, fine then," Vanessa huffed as I walked away with Merry.  
  
"What did I put in here?" Kitty wondered, looking through her carry-on. "Oh, hey! I didn't know I had this in here!" she exclaimed, pulling out a beret. She looked at it, looked at Legolas, and looked back at the hat, a smile crossing her face. "Legolas?"  
  
"Yes, sweetheart?" Legolas asked.  
  
"Will you wear this beret?"  
  
"No!" he replied rather strongly.  
  
"Pwease?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But I think it'll look sexy," she whined.  
  
"OK, " he agreed.  
  
"Man, she's got him whipped," Courtney muttered to Vanessa.  
  
"Mm-mh," she agreed and tried to avoid looking at the Elf because it really DID look sexy.  
  
"Oh, there's our flight! Let's say 'hi' to Christy and Merry on our way back to our seats," Kitty squealed because she was still ecstatic that she had convince Legolas to wear the hat.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Oh my gosh! I thought we'd NEVER get outta there!" Kitty complained as Legolas leaned on her.  
  
None of the men were in the best shape at the moment, except for Gandalf and Gimli. Fangirls had attacked and the poor Fellowship was unable to defend themselves, as they had no weapons. The flight had resulted in torn shirts and other articles of clothing.  
  
"If I had to beat off one more fangirl I was gonna scream!" I told everyone else. Apparently someone had mentioned that 'Dominic Monaghan' was in first class and seemingly everyone had rushed up for an autograph.  
  
"OK," clear-headed Courtney said. "If anyone comes up to y'all asking for an autograph, like on the plane, just say you can't because you have to get to re-shoots or something."  
  
"Why?" Sam asked.  
  
"Because people think you are someone else," she answered. "For such a cute hobbit, he's rather dense," she muttered.  
  
"I thought you liked Pippin," I whispered so the hobbits couldn't hear.  
  
"I do, but Vanessa won't even let me near him, so I'll go for Sam."  
  
"Oh, OK."  
  
"Let's go. We have to check into the hotel and get more rooms so not everyone is stuck in two rooms," Kitty said.  
  
"And I get to pay for them as well," I griped, then smiled as Merry grabbed my hand. " I guess I can forgive them though."  
  
A/N~ OK, Nessa wants the story so I guess I should stop writing. My Spanish class is (now was, as school is over) insane. Just thought I'd share. Bye! *Tags Vanessa* Your turn!  
  
P.S. Just thought I'd share, I'm not rich even though it may seem like it in here, therefore if you try to sue me don't expect much! ^.^  
  
The little review button is calling to you! It says "Review! Review! Review! Click me, pwease!" It feels lonely and unwanted when you don't use it to review. 


	4. Hotel checkin and the Hamilton adventure

Chapter 4: Hotel check-in and the Hamilton Adventure  
  
A/N~ I tried reading this on the bus and Daniel attacked me! He tore the front cover too. Then, someone in the back asked if I was 'his whore'. Jerks! Just because I'm sitting with him doesn't mean I'm shagging him. I hate those people.  
  
A/N2~ Vanessa, I hate to break it to you but evidently those people hate you too. ^.^ The Daniel mentioned above is the same Daniel mentioned in our profile (if we still haven't gotten around to changing it!) Also, I'm sorry for my crappy titles if Vanessa has spoiled you with hers. I'm dead-tired, but too lazy to get off of my computer and go the, like, two feet to my bed. Sad, huh? ^.^ I'll leave you alone and I'll let Boromir and Aragorn the disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Aragorn: Hello all.  
  
You: Hi.  
  
Boromir: How are you today?  
  
You: I'm ______(fill in the blank).  
  
Aragorn: That's great. OR That's horrible. (Depends on answer)  
  
Boromir: Can you tell me how much these psycho girls own?  
  
You: Nothing.  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: Very good! *Patz heads* Would you like a treat?  
  
You: YES!!!  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: Sorry. We don't have any right now but we'll tell Christy to go get some later.  
  
You: OK.  
  
Me (offstage): Can you tell I worked with 3- and 4-yr.-olds today?  
  
We all piled into our newly rented SUV and made our way to the hotel. It was a semi-nice hotel. Nothing fancy because otherwise we would have had no money. Come to think of it we didn't have any money then, either, save Christy.  
  
"Are you OK, Frodo?" I asked, turning in my seat to get a better look. "You look kinda green."  
  
"I've never flown before."  
  
"Ohhh..."  
  
"Nessa? Won't you come sit with us?" Pippin asked. "I want to continue our 'conversation' from earlier."  
  
"Finally!" I thought. "OK." I looked at Christy (A/N2~ She seems to be looking at me a lot in this fic, huh? Maybe Alex was on the right track when he called her a 'lezzi'! Hehehe!) and grinned evilly. "Move Gimli! I'm sitting there now."  
  
He griped, but in the end moved and I took his place...next to Pippin. Oooo...the possibilities!  
  
Courtney and Christy sat in the front seats so they could configure the map. Aragorn, Boromir, and Legolas sat in the second row. The hobbits and I sat in the third row. Kitty, Gimli, and Gandalf sat in the back.  
  
"I wanna be with my husband!" Kitty complained.  
  
"I think you've seen enough of him," Boromir said, exasperated.  
  
We arrived at the hotel a few minutes later and lugged in all our luggage. "Ummm...Three rooms please?" Christy said to the teller.  
  
He looked at everyone, sighed, and handed over the keys. We headed towards the elevators and discussed room arrangements.  
  
"It'll work," Christy said (A/N2~ I did NOT! I do NOT like this arrangement!!!). "Us four girls in one room, the hobbits and Gandalf and another, and everyone else in the last."  
  
"But I'll miss my baby!!" Kits cried.  
  
"You'll be with each other every other time," Courtney sighed. "No doubt in each others' arms."  
  
"You know us so well," Kitty said happily.  
  
"Come on, guys," I said after we had put our luggage in the rooms. "I wanna check out this place."  
  
We all hopped (*hops*) into the car and Christy and Courtney looked on the map. "Umm...why don't we go see the old set they used for Hobbiton in LotR?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Yeah, that sounds like fun!" I said.  
  
"We're going ...where?" Aragorn asked, turning around to look at me.  
  
I sighed. "Duh...Hobbiton."  
  
.~*~.  
  
"So we came here, so we could go to Hobbiton?" he asked again 25 minutes later as we started our tour.  
  
"As you can tell we're not actually there. We're on a set where they filmed it," I answered.  
  
"Filmed? I'm not sure I follow."  
  
"Don't worry that greasy little head of yours," I said, giving up.  
  
"I'm not greasy!"  
  
I held up a string of his curly black/brown hair. "Uh-huh. Sure you're not." I walked over to Christy. "But the hair is what makes him sexy," I said quietly to her. (A/N2~ And the body, and the sword, and ... I'll stop now. Sorry if this is gettin annoying.)  
  
"Nessie! I'm telling Pippin!" she cried.  
  
"NO!! Besides, there's nothing to tell."  
  
"Tell me what?" Pippin asked suddenly appearing by my side.  
  
I put my arm around him and glared daggers at Christy (ouch!!). "Nothing."  
  
I heard Sam gasp. "It's Mr. Frodo's hobbit-hole! What is this place?"  
  
"Just don't ask," Courtney said. "Where's Kitty and Legolas?"  
  
"Not again! I thought you were watching them, Nessie!" Christy cried. "Nessie? Vanessa? Courtney, do you know where she went?"  
  
A/N~ Hehe. Where am I? Where's Kitty? That's up to Christy! *tags her* Hehe! *Runs off with a leprechaun chasing angrily and yelling something about his 'lucky charms'*.  
  
A/N2~ Does anyone else get the feeling Courtney and I sound like bad babysitters? Also, do I care where Vanessa is?! NO!!! ^.^ FYI: (as if you didn't already know. LOL!) We are on the North Island and Hobbiton was filmed in a place-y called Hamilton. ^.^ Also we know that they returned the place with the holes back to the pre-LotR look. See y'all on the next chapter and don't forget to review or I'll send someone after you (and NO it will not be a hott guy! I keep those for myself!)!  
  
"Review! Review! Review! Use me! PLEASE!!!" cries the little purple/blue review button. Please don't hurt its self-esteem by not reviewing. ^.^ 


	5. More Hamilton Fun

Chapter 5: More Hamilton Fun  
  
A/N~ Nothin' to write right here. I hope you reviewed the last chapter. OK, disclaimer time. Take it away, guys!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Aragorn: Vanessa owns nothing.  
  
Boromir: Christy owns nothing as well.  
  
Me: Hey! Wait a second! Don't say that!  
  
Boromir: Why not? I thought it was true.  
  
Me: Well, it won't be for long. Kitty is going to take over the world. *Nods because feels important that knows Kitty's plan*  
  
Aragorn: Huh? OK, I'll bite. What does that have to do with you?  
  
Me: When Kitty takes over the world, I get part of Australia, and all of New Zealand and Fiji.  
  
Boromir: Cool.  
  
Gandalf: *pops in suddenly wearing a Magneto costume (X-men)* What about Vanessa? Does she get anything?  
  
Me: Why are you wearing that?  
  
Gandalf: Because I think it's spiffy!  
  
Me: OK *rolls eyes* Go get changed. *Pushes him off-stage* Answering his question, Vanessa gets Canada/Great Britain. If any of y'all live there (or any of the places I get), I'm sorry.  
  
Aragorn: Ah. So you don't own anything yet...  
  
Boromir: ...but you will. It all makes sense now.  
  
Me: Good. Glad I could help.  
  
"I dunno where she is," Courtney said. "Although, I think we'd better find Kits and Eggo-My-Leggo Boi, before they get into any trouble preferably."  
  
"True. Let's go. I wanna go clubbing tonight," I grumbled.  
  
"Where's Pippin?" Frodo asked suddenly.  
  
"Probably with Vanessa," Boromir stated matter-of-factly.  
  
.~*~.  
  
Meanwhile...  
  
Vanessa was lying on a hill with (stolen) binoculars in her hands watching a tour group go by.  
  
"Ooh! Hott guy! Oh! Hott guys! Eww! Not hott guy!" She had a running commentary going, so she didn't hear Pippin sneaking up on her.  
  
"Oh My GOSH!!! He's the hottest one yet!!" she exclaimed.  
  
"Hey!" Pippin cried. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Umm...nothing...uhh...let's go find the others..." she stammered.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Hey, guys!" Kitty yelled as she and Legolas rounded the hill where everyone was looking for them.  
  
"Looks like someone had fun," I commented as I looked at the disheveled girl. "And someone must have had even more fun," I added as I eyed Legolas. His hair was going everywhere and his braids seemed to have gotten lost.  
  
"Yep," Kitty grinned.  
  
"Oh, gosh," Courtney rolled her eyes. "Let's get back to the car and see if Vanessa and Pippin are there."  
  
.~*~.  
  
"They're not here yet," Aragorn stated.  
  
"Thank you Captain Obvious," Merry replied. When everyone looked at him, he pointed at me and said, "I hear her say it and I thought it was funny."  
  
"Whatever," Legolas scoffed and did a hair flip, much to Kitty's delight.  
  
"Hey, guys! We're back," Vanessa announced as she walked into view hand-in- hand with Pippin.  
  
"You were gone?" I asked innocently. "I didn't notice you had left."  
  
"Haha."  
  
"Let's get back to the hotel," Legolas insisted.  
  
"He just wants to re-braid his hair," Frodo commented and ran as Leggy held Kitty back (she gets mad when someone makes fun of him.).  
  
"Do not kill him," Gandalf requested. "We need him for the quest."  
  
After several minutes, she gave up the fight and settled for simply glaring at him.  
  
A few minutes later, we all piled into the SUV, Courtney and Vanessa in front, Kitty, Legolas, and Aragorn in the second row (Aragorn was strategically placed between Kitty and Lego, much to his dismay, even more to theirs...), the hobbits and myself in the third row, and everyone else in the back.  
  
A/N~ I gave you room for fluff, then my 'fun' chapter! Hehehe! *Grinz evilly* ^.^ Anyhoo, your turn. *Tagz Vanessa and skips off happily with Dom* Hehehe! This is fun! I love ffs!  
  
(to tune of Mexican Hat Dance)"Review! Review! Review! If you don't I will get you!" Pwease review. It makes us feel special when we open our e-mail account and see that we have reviews. Also, thank you to those that have reviewed so far. If I remember I'll reply to them at the baginning of the next chapter. And those that have us on their favorites lists: We really appreciate you! *Handz out clones of 'peoples with us on their favorites list(this is y'all's new name ^.^)' favorite characters for them to 'play' with* It's not too late to get a clone, just put us on your favorites list. TTY next chapter.  
  
Thanks for reviewing:  
  
Sunrunner of Summer  
  
Faer  
  
Legolas's TRUE Wife (BTW, that's what a LOT of girls call themselves.)  
  
And, Vanessa, as Tap-dancing hobbit, you don't get thanked! This is YOUR story! 


	6. A Time to Club

Chapter 6: A Time to Club  
  
A/N~ Why is Kitty having all the fun? Not anymore! The rating may go up on this chappie, so beware.  
  
A/N2~ Sorry about the title. There was something about the John Grisham book A Time to Kill mentioned today (don't remember what, but there was) and that made me write that for some psycho reason. I may gag during this chapter, b/c no only do I have to type it I have to read it again, so I apologize if it seems screwed up. And when I am typing this there's 6 more days till the Stargate SG-1 season premiere! w00t! Time for Mr. (or maybe, Mrs.) Disclaimer.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Howdy.  
  
You: Hi, Crazy Psycho Person.  
  
Boromir: Once again, they don't own anything.  
  
Me: But we will. Don't know when, but we will!  
  
Aragorn: *As men in white coats come to sedate me* Sure you will, sure you will.  
  
We all went back to the hotel to prepare for a night of clubbing. "Christy, the guys don't have anything to wear," I stated.  
  
"So?" (She knows me so well...)  
  
"Well, oh nevermind. Let's get ready to go."  
  
We emerged from the room looking refreshed and ready to party. Legolas had redone his braids, which Frodo laughed at. "I told you he had to rebraid his hair."  
  
Kitty just about lunged at hi, but Christy and Courtney did a good job of holding her back. I would've helped but I was already "busy" with Pippin. (*Gags*)  
  
By the time Kitty had calmed down, Pippin and I were making out (*gags again*). "Man," Kitty said, looking over at us. "You either are really quiet or you have a lot of self-control."  
  
I quickly let go of Pippin and blushed. "Sorry," I mumbled.  
  
"Come on, guys, let's go!" Courtney said, dropping the subject. I needed to thank her one of these days.  
  
This time, Christy drove and Merry sat up front; Boromir, Aragorn, and Gandalf sat in the second row; me, Pippin, Kitty, Legolas, and Courtney (poor, poor Court!) sat in the third row; and Gimli, Frodo, and Sam in back. Well, us in the third row didn't really get to enjoy the drive, since we were a little busy, but it was nice, none the less.  
  
The club was packed when we arrived later that night. It was only 6:30 but already there was a long line to get in. By 7 everyone was inside.  
  
Some lady dragged Aragorn away for a dance a few minutes later. Boromir, Gimli, Pippin, and I headed for the bar. Christy, Merry, and Sam headed towards the dance area, and Gandalf and Frodo watched from the side. Kitty and Legolas were "standing" in the corner with Courtney looking around the room.  
  
"I'm gonna ask someone to dance," Courtney said, irritated that Kitty was ignoring her. She made her way through the crowd and tapped Samwise on the shoulder. "Care to dance?"  
  
He dropped his jaw in surprise but nodded. A slow song played. It was a little hard for Courtney and Sam to dance due to the height issue but they so cute together.  
  
"One more beer, Boromir, please?" I begged, pulling a puppy-dog pout.  
  
"You've had three already!"  
  
"Well...how about a margarita?"  
  
He sighed but called the bartender over and ordered one anyway.  
  
"Yea!" I cried.  
  
"Why don't you order it yourself?" Gimli asked.  
  
"Can you keep a secret? I'm not really old enough to drink yet."  
  
"Oh."  
  
The drink came and I guzzled it down happily. "Pippin? Come here," I said, slurring a bit. I led him to a corner where I started kissing him.  
  
Christy and Merry took a break from dancing and sat down at a table. "That was fun," Merry said as Christy drank a margarita.  
  
At eleven o'clock, everyone decided it was time to go. "Can we go 'clubbing', as you call it, again tomorrow?" Sam asked, holding Courtney's hand.  
  
"Maybe," I said. "Courtney? Can you drive? I think I may have had too much to drink."  
  
"Sure." She and Sam sat up front; Kitty, Legolas, and Gimli sat in the second row; Boromir, Frodo, Gandalf, Christy, and Merry sat in the third; and Aragorn, Pippin, and I sat in the back. I had fallen asleep on Pippin's shoulder and him on me. Aragorn looked at us with interest and poked Boromir to get his attention.  
  
"What?" he asked. Aragorn pointed at us. "So? A girl and a hobbit."  
  
"Nevermind."  
  
A/N~ I don't want this spiral anymore! It wasn't as fluffy as I intended, but oh, well. *tagz Christy*  
  
A/N2~ As it is 11:30 now, I will say 'good night', although it probably won't be night when you read this. Well, good night.  
  
Don't forget to review! Please! They keep us locked in a cage and unless we get reviews we don't get fed! Please let us eat! Hehehe! But, really folks, review please. Just so we know what you think of our story. We won't be able to take requests yet, because the fifth one, or what we have of it so far, isn't up. When it is we might take requests (on things like cameos etc.), but I dunno. I'll talk to Vanessa about it and let you know. Remember: REVIEW!!! 


	7. Shopping and Slash They Don't Mix

Chapter 7: Shopping and Slash- They don't mix!  
  
A/N~ OK, this chapter was supposed to happen in the night club, but thanks to Vanessa's lack of fluff, it won't. That's OK though, because I think it works out better this way. If I seem cruel in any way shape or form to gay people etc. I apologize ahead of time.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: OK, this is getting old.  
  
Aragorn: Yes, you should know they don't own anything.  
  
Me: Actually, we do! We own ourselves, Kitty, Courtney, Alex (even though he's not in this chapter, we still own him), Maha, and John, not that I wish to own Maha and/or John!! EWWW!!  
  
Boromir: Continuing, they are not making any money off of this either. It is purely for entertainment.  
  
Me: Bad entertainment, but entertainment nonetheless. And if you wish to send donations, you may!  
  
Aragorn: Enough with the money already!  
  
Me: *poutz* Fine. I'll type the story now.  
  
Boromir: Good.  
  
"Christy! Christy! Christy! Wake up!" Kitty, Courtney, and Vanessa yelled.  
  
"Huh?" I asked, finally waking up.  
  
"Get up," Courtney reiterated, exasperated.  
  
"OK, fine. I'll get up," I grumbled (I'm not a morning person.).  
  
"Hurry up, too. We're going shopping today!" Vanessa said.  
  
"JOY!" Kitty exclaimed, rolling her eyes. (She only likes to shop at Wal- mart, where a guy from our school she dubbed "SuperCuteBoy", works.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"This 'shopping' is not much fun," Gimli griped.  
  
"Aye, that it is not," Gandalf agreed.  
  
The Fellowship was not having the greatest time, while us girls, on the other hand, were having a blast. (A/N~I hate Geometry, just FYI) We went from store to store buying a lot of crap that we didn't even need, or for that matter, probably would never need. Guess who got stuck carrying the bags: our favorite guys.  
  
"OMG! (They actually said "O-M-G!" hehehe!) That would look so hott on you, honey!" we heard a semi-male sounding voice behind us.  
  
"Are you sure, sweetcakes?" another not so masculine, yet not feminine voice answered.  
  
"Oh, God, please tell me that's not who I think it is!" I begged, just loud enough for Courtney, Kitty, and Vanessa to hear.  
  
'I'm not God, but I think it is," Kitty replied. "Maybe they won't see us...Too late..."  
  
"Christy, Kitty, Courtney, Vanessa, what are you doing here?" Maha asked. "And who are you with?"  
  
"Yes, tell us. They look scrumptious," John agreed.  
  
"NO! You are NOT getting my man!" Kitty yelled and jumped in front of Legolas.  
  
"Umm...This is Gandalf, Frodo..." I hesitantly introduced the Fellowship and made sure I got the point across that Merry was mine.  
  
"Oh, hello, Gandalf, was it?" Maha said, moving closer to the wizard. Gandalf looked at him funny and edged away, only to bump into John, who looked rather pleased by the fact that he had been able to run into the Isitari.  
  
"Hi, handsome," John batted his eyes. Gandalf looked at the four of us girls, hoping that we would rescue him. Not a chance; we were too busy cracking up.  
  
"Oh, my gosh! This is sooooooooooooooo funny!" Kitty laughed.  
  
"My stomach hurts!" I gasped, clutching my sides.  
  
"And you're crying," Aragorn noted, which made us giggle even harder.  
  
"Oh, Valar! Why me?" Gandalf asked, as if they would come to his aid.  
  
"Because we love you!" Maha and John answered.  
  
"Ahhh!" the Isitari screamed and fainted.  
  
A/N~ Hehehe! You turn, Nessie. *Tagz her and runz off with Dom, again, never to be seen again. * ^.^ Have fun! 


	8. Ricky Martin Leather Pants

Chapter 8: Ricky Martin Leather Pants  
  
A/N~ OMG! I think I just peed my pants from laughing so hard! "Because we love you!" Ha! Eat that, Breegirls! Well, they still win.  
  
A/N2~ That's gross if you peed your pants, Vanessa. I thought it was pretty funny myself. Yes, the Breegirls ALWAYS win.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Aragorn: They own nothing! Do you not get that?!  
  
Boromir: I guess they don't if we have to repeat this.  
  
Me: We definitely do not own Ricky Martin or leather pants, therefore we own only what we've told you previously.  
  
"Where did my hunny-bunny go?!" John whined. "I know a store that had the cutest top. It would've looked so good on him."  
  
"I don't think Gandalf needed any new tops today, John," I said. "He's had a busy day."  
  
"Oh, well. Come, Maha, it might look cute on you. Bye girls! Oh, and you too, Gimli."  
  
The dwarf blushed slightly. "No!" Christy cried. "He can't be gay too!" (A/N2~ she did this after I told her not to do that to Gimli! The butt- munch!)  
  
"Come on, Christy," I said, dragging her away from the store. "We'll talk about this later. Right now, I'm gonna get me some food."  
  
Kitty's ears perked up a little at this. "Did you say food? Let's go!" She grabbed Legolas's hand and ran towards the food court.  
  
"Did you know that Maha and John were together?" I asked Christy as I sat down to eat my cheeseburger. (Mmm...food...Why the heck am I writing about food? Because it's lunchtime, I guess. Stupid yearbook. It always takes up my time. FYI: I have to miss ½ my lunch for pictures. ^_^ (That's not supposed to be happy, but it kinda looks it to me.) Grr...)  
  
"Yes. Didn't you? That's why John always came over to sit with us in the mornings; he wanted to see Maha."  
  
"Oh. Well, now everything fits into place. Gross! So that explains why he always played with Maha's hair."  
  
"Can you guys drop the subject?" Gimli asked from the next table. (A/N2~ Why would we talk about this when we're about to eat, anyway?)  
  
"Fine," I retorted and began eating my burger again.  
  
Just then, John and Maha walked in...holding hands. I squeaked and hid under the table.  
  
"Darling, I swear, the black pants looked better than the red," I heard Maha say.  
  
"Ya think? Maybe I'll go back and get them." John must have caught sight of us because they walked over to our tables. "Hi! Where's Vanessa?"  
  
"I'm under here," I said, knowing they would find me, sooner or later.  
  
"What are you doing down there?"  
  
"Ummm...looking for my earring," I lied.  
  
"But...it's in your ear."  
  
"See! I found it." He (I'm guessing John; she didn't say when she wrote this.) looked at me strangely. "So what were you talking about with Maha?"  
  
"Leather pants." I gasped. "We found some that made us look like Ricky Martin! Isn't that fab?"  
  
"Ummm...sure. I have to go see Christy (A/N2~ See, there she goes with the looking at me again! Alex was right! ^.^ J/J!) for a moment. I'll see ya later." I ran off to go find my friend who was back in line with the hobbits. "Christy!!!!" I screamed. "They want to buy Ricky Martin tight leather pants!"  
  
"No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, NO!"  
  
"What are 'Ricky Martin tight leather pants'?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Pants that show off everything, if you catch my drift," I answered.  
  
He looked confused. Then, it hit him. "OH!"  
  
"Yeah, that's what we thought."  
  
A/N~ Sorry that was such a boring chapter. But Christy threatened to take away my solo fics if I didn't write. Cool! My song came on. ROTC people are weird. BTW, I'm in the gym with the photogs taking clubs and classes pictures. Hehe. Funny!  
  
A/N2~ Suuuuure! Blame it all on me, why don't you? You're the one that was taking forever! So it's your fault! Ha! She wrote because she knew that I really would take away her fics! I'm that evil! ^.^ Also, sorry if any of you are ROTC people, or know any that you like, about her comment in her author's note about you being weird, unless of course you are. ^.^  
  
You know what I'm going to say, "Review!", but I'm going to say it anyway! Please Review! It feels AWESOME!! when we open our email and see we have reviews! Luv ya all! Cya later! 


	9. Butterfly in the Sky

Chapter 9: Butterfly in the Sky  
  
A/N~ OK, this may just be fluff because I only have one day to write it.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: We no own nothing!  
  
Boromir: Can we please stop saying this? It's getting annoying!  
  
Aragorn: Yeah, like, totally, dude! (I'm REALLY tired! Leave me alone!)  
  
Me: Did anyone see the Stargate SG-1 series premiere on June 13? It was AWESOME! I wish I owned that too, but I don't. Shall add that to my wish list of things to own.  
  
Aragorn: What's on there already?  
  
Me: Stargate SG-1, Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, X-men, you know, anything with hott guys!  
  
Boromir: Oh. Moving on...  
  
"They cannot get those pants!" I screamed. I NEVER want to see Maha and/or John in Ricky Martin pants!"  
  
"Shh! Here they come!" Vanessa whispered. "They might hear you."  
  
There was no chance of that as they were "singing" at the top of their lungs. "Butterfly in the sky *they swept their right hands through the air*, I can fly twice as high *they swept their left hands through the air*. Take a look *they pointed at their eyes*, it's in a book *they made a 'book' with their hands and opened it*. A reading *right hands go through the air* rainbow *left hands go through air*!" (A/N~ Sorry about the little thingies that they did, if they were confusing.)  
  
"What are they trying to sing?" Merry asked, covering his ears.  
  
"Don't ask; just run!" I replied and the thirteen of us fled, sprinting out the door.  
  
"Where now?" Kitty asked from the driver's seat.  
  
"I dunno," Vanessa replied, looking at Courtney and me for suggestions.  
  
"Just anywhere away from here and Maha and John," I answered as Kitty pulled out of the parking lot.  
  
"We're letting Kitty drive," Courtney wondered aloud and shook her head. "We're all gonna die!"  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Wooooo! This FUN!" Kitty exclaimed as we all gripped our seats in fear. I'm sure the Kiwis (people who live in New Zealand. I add this because Vanessa didn't know, so I wanted no confusion for anyone.) were pissing their pants because they were so freaked out. Kitty was driving on the right side of the road and Kiwis were swerving off the road to avoid hitting us, considering you're supposed to drive on the left side of the road in New Zealand.  
  
"Kitty, Sweetheart?" Legolas asked." Could you maybe slow down and go with the flow of traffic?"  
  
"What?" she asked, turning around to face the Elf, who repeated himself.  
  
"Kitty! Watch out! There's a tree!" Vanessa yelled as Kitty drove us off the road by accident.  
  
"I saw it," she told everyone as she swerved back on the road. "Oh, look! A four-way stop!" she exclaimed as she slammed on the brakes, giving us all whiplash.  
  
"Hey, look at that!" Kitty exclaimed again. "A hospital and a mortuary right next to each other. How weird."  
  
"Uh...uh...uh..." everyone whimpered and Merry and Pippin climbed over to Vanessa and me and clung on in fear.  
  
Over everyone's whimpering Gandalf could be heard trying to magic the doors unlocked. Kitty had evilly locked all the doors and locked to controls to her door.  
  
"Edro! Edro! Edro! (Open! Open! Open!) Please! Open Sesame! Umm...OH! Mellon," he tried. He then grew aware of the stares he was receiving. "What? 'Mellon' worked last time! But it won't work now!" he whined.  
  
"Whatever," everyone replied.  
  
"Kitty, move! I'm driving now!" Courtney told our younger friend.  
  
"Oh, alright," she sounded sad, then suddenly brightened. "I'm coming Leggy!"  
  
"Tell me she's never driving again," Pippin begged.  
  
"She's not!" Vanessa answered, still shaking.  
  
"Woo! That was really fun, Kitty!" I exclaimed, still hyper from the adrenaline rush of the ride. "Let's do that again!" I laughed, seeing how many "you-must-be-joking" stares I could get. It was not in vain- I got a whole car-full.  
  
"Where to?" Court asked.  
  
"Back to the hotel," Gandalf pleaded.  
  
A/N~ Whooo! You turn!  
  
Don't forget to review!!! 


	10. A Grated Diary and the hobbits attack Ci...

Chapter 10: A "G-rated" diary and the Hobbits  
  
Attack CiCi's Pizza  
  
A/N~ Whoo! That was funny! Just so you know, I didn't really pee my pants. OK? Oh, and Maha told John what we wrote about him. I'm gonna kill him (Maha)! We never should have trusted him. This chapter was written while I'm still steaming over the fact that Maha betrayed our trust.  
  
A/N2~ OK, we should have known that Maha would do something like that when he said he thought the slash was funny. I wrote that chapter because he pissed me off! (He text messaged Alex (the one in this story) and wrote " You like Christy and she likes you". That's totally untrue, so it pissed me off. How is that funny?) We spent the rest of the school year convincing that John that the one in the story was a different one, and I think the different one works better but that's OK, and WOW! This is long. Sorry. I'll stop now.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Well, guys what are going to do for the disclaimer today?  
  
Guys: *silence because they're not there*  
  
Me: Guys? Hello? We have to do the disclaimer.  
  
Boromir: Arg.  
  
Aragorn: Aye, aye, Captain.  
  
Me: *raises eyebrow* What are you two doing? And why are you wearing pirate outfits? (OK, I know I just made Vanessa squeal with delight!)  
  
Boromir: Nothing. We found them in Legolas's stuff and thought they looked cool.  
  
Aragorn: And they're dirty! Only problem is they belong to somebody named 'Captain Jack Sparrow', according to the name on the collar.  
  
Me: EEEEEE!!!! Pirates of the Caribbean! We own nothing! *Runs off to find more pirate stuff*  
  
"Yea!" I cried, falling onto the bed. "No more driving! No more Kitty! No more trees!"  
  
"I know! Kitty, you just about killed us with your driving!" Courtney said to her friend, who was digging through her bag. "What are you looking for?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, food."  
  
"But you just finished lunch!" Christy said. (A/N2~ OK, I am not this stupid! I know better than to ask something like that!!!!)  
  
"Well, I'm hungry again," Kitty retorted and began searching through my bag.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked.  
  
"I'm still looking for something to eat." She pulled out a green, leather- bound book and started flipping through the pages. "What's this?"  
  
"Hey! Don't read that!" I screamed and lunged at her.  
  
She moved out of the way at the last moment, though. She flipped to a page and began to read aloud. "'Pippin kissed me today! So happy! I like the way he...' Vanessa! I have one thing to say...GGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
I pounced on her (A/N2~ There she goes with that 'lezzi' behavior again! I'm not gay-bashing; don't sue me!) and grabbed my journal back from her grasp. "That's it! I'm moving into a different room!" I packed up my stuff and walked out the door. Oh, was I mad.  
  
I knocked on Aragorn, Boromir, Gimli, and Legolas's door. Boromir answered the door and I stormed in without a word.  
  
"Umm...Vanessa? I don't want to sound rude, but...what are you doing here?" Aragorn asked.  
  
"Me? Well, I kinda got into a fight with Legolas's wife and I decided to move in with you guys for the last few days."  
  
"What?!" Gimli cried. "She cannot stay in here!" (A/N2~ I'm sorry, but if she wants to that's your, and her, problem. No one wants to see Gimli without a shirt on! *Shudders* I am not, in any way, shape, or form, Dwarf- bashing. Do not sue me!)  
  
"And why not?" I asked. "If you don't think there'll be enough room, you can move in with Christy, Kitty, and Courtney."  
  
"I'll do it," Legolas said with a grin.  
  
"NO! It's not going to be you. If so, no one within a 2 mile radius will be able to sleep."  
  
He looked a little put out by this, but understood. "So, are we going to send someone in her place?" he asked.  
  
"If you don't want to I can sleep on the floor. Heck, I could even sleep in the chair."  
  
"Alright," Aragorn said. "You can stay in here as long as you don't try anything."  
  
"Moi?" I asked sweetly. "Would I really try anything of the sort?"  
  
Boromir snorted. "He means no jokes."  
  
"Oh, alright," I said. "So, what's for dinner? Do any of you know?" They shook their heads. (A/N~ Yea! Only 100 more miles until we reach Houston! Question: Will Elrond's two sons be in the 3rd movie? I wanna see what they look like according to Petey.)  
  
I went to my old room and knocked on the door. Christy answered. "What are we doing for dinner? I'm hungry."  
  
"When aren't you hungry?" she asked. "Umm...I dunno. How about pizza tonight?"  
  
"OK. From where?"  
  
"We could go to CiCi's," Christy offered.  
  
"Hmm...Good idea. It's cheap, there's a lot of food, and it has my 4 favorite words- all you can eat!!!!"  
  
"Ain't that the truth," she muttered under her breath.  
  
"I heard that, missy!"  
  
"Just go tell the guys what we're doing for dinner and get ready."  
  
"Okie-dokies!" I saluted her and marched off to the other two rooms.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"I don't think a buffet was such a good idea, " Courtney said, eyeing the hobbits' plates, which were piled with food.  
  
"Oh, well, it only costs a couple of dollars. I don't think CiCi's company planned on hobbits when they came up with the buffet thing," I replied.  
  
"Umm...Kitty?" Legolas asked, looking at the pizza. "What is this?"  
  
"DUH! Pizza!" she answered.  
  
"OK. I don't want to seem stupid, or anything, but, what's pizza?"  
  
"It's, like, umm, how can I put this? It's...pizza."  
  
"Right..."  
  
"Legolas?" Courtney asked. "Just ignore her and take whatever looks good, before the hobbits get to it."  
  
"Good idea." Kitty's eyes glowed red. "Except for the part about ignoring Kitty." He laughed nervously and reached for a slice of pepperoni pizza.  
  
By the time everyone was on their 3rd or 4th slice, the hobbits were on their way for a 3rd helping. I finished eating and watched the hobbits stuff their faces. It was quite a sight to see! (A/N~ Christy, I saw Reading Rainbow Friday after school! Ahh!)  
  
"Is everyone done?" Courtney asked.  
  
The hobbits looked at her in disbelief. "We haven't even touched the desserts yet!" Pippin cried.  
  
"Umm...Pippin? I think you're gonna run the company out of business if you guys eat anymore," I said.  
  
The hobbits looked a little put out by this, but perked up when I offered to give them money to play a video game.  
  
Frodo chose to play the "Driving USA" game and failed miserably. Merry had his try at that game too, and did a little better, but crashed a few times when the elephant pooed on his car. Pippin and Sam played against each other on the Simpson's.  
  
"Alright, let's go," I said when they were done.  
  
"Driving is a lot harder than it looks," Frodo said as we climbed into the SUV.  
  
"It's not that hard," I replied. "Except for Kitty, who can't seem to grasp the concept that you drive on only one side of the yellow line." (A/N2~ Here's a song for Kitty- instead of the 'yellow brick road'. Follow the yellow straight line! Follow the yellow straight line! ^.^)  
  
"Hey! At least I don't write non-G-rated things about a certain hobbit in my journal."  
  
"I should hope you don't!" Legolas cried.  
  
"I know you didn't just say that!" I screamed and lunged at her, but Aragorn jumped in my way.  
  
"No fighting in the car," he said.  
  
"Fine. Are we almost back yet so I can kill Kitty?" I asked bitterly.  
  
A/N~ Hehehe. I liked this chapter. I'm not really like that to Kits, if you're wondering. It's just for fun. Go, Christy!  
  
A/N2~ She may not be like that to Kits, but I am! She knows I'm joking, though, and does it back because we've known each other since 3rd grade. When we graduate, we'll have been friends for 10 years! Creepy, huh? I'll stop now.  
  
Remember: REVIEW!!!! REVIEW!!!!! 


	11. Kitty's Big Uhoh!

Chapter 11: Kitty's Big Uh-oh!  
  
A/N~ So tired...so bored...and for some reason, I'm in a bad mood. I want Kitty to be pregnant, but I dunno if she'd go for that. I'll ask her later. Spanish...so boring...  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! *Sobs*  
  
Boromir: Translation: They own NOTHING!!!  
  
Aragorn: Also they are making NO money off of this, so they have nothing to sue for.  
  
"Ugh! I am so tired!" I groaned as everyone filed into mine, Kitty, and Courtney's room to watch a movie.  
  
"I'm still hungry!" Kitty complained.  
  
"What?" Merry asked. "Even we're full." He indicated his cousins, Sam and himself as he spoke.  
  
"You know something's wrong when the hobbits are full and you're not," Courtney noted.  
  
"Yeah, you sound like you're pregnant," Vanessa joked. "Like you're eating for two."  
  
When Kitty got a thoughtful look on her face, I protested. "Please, tell me you didn't!"  
  
"Well, we are married," Legolas said, adding his two cents in.  
  
"Haven't you ever heard of 'protection'? (A/N~ Sorry about that. I don't know what was wrong with me when I wrote this chapter. Obviously, I was very screwed up mentally.)" I asked. "Kitty, you've had Health! You know better!"  
  
"Let's find out if I'm even pregnant before you start lecturing."  
  
"I'll go to the drugstore," Courtney volunteered.  
  
"Can I come too?" Sam asked.  
  
"Of course," she replied and they walked down to the car.  
  
"You know, Kitty, that if you are pregnant, your mom is going to kill me too, if only because I'm the oldest," I informed her.  
  
"Yep, and I'm the cute lil baby. That's why you all love me," she retorted. Vanessa and I replied by throwing pillows at her.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Oh, my GOD! I'm...I'm...I'm pregnant! You dumb Elf! My mother's going to kill me and you're going back to Middle-Earth soon!" Kitty yelled in shock.  
  
"My life is over," I muttered, burying my head in my pillow. "In fact, all our lives are over. Kitty's mom is never going to believe that she's married to Legolas and he's the one that got her pregnant!"  
  
"I'm sorry," Legolas apologized and caught Kitty, as she fell from her position of standing over the Elf, as he sat on the bed, when the shock set in even more and held her close.  
  
"It's OK, just...hold me and you guys have to stay! At least until we tell my mom," she amended, after a disapproving look from Gandalf. "If not, take me with you!" That got another disapproving glare from the Isitari.  
  
"I dunno about y'all, but I wanna watch my movie!" Vanessa interjected into a story that would have made the PMS Channel (Lifetime) cry.  
  
"OK, put it in," I told her since no one protested. Kitty was sitting next to Legolas, rocking back-and-forth with a glazed-over look in her eyes while Sam and Courtney were in the middle of a conversation. I was curled up under the covers of my bed with Merry (A/N~ I mean nothing dirty! It's just, I always get cold when I watch a movie, so if I'm not at the movie theater, I use a blanket to keep warm.) and Vanessa was sitting next to Pippin, on the floor, with her arm around his shoulders and his arm around her waist.  
  
"...the candy man can!" the guy/kids in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory sang.  
  
"Look at all that candy," Kitty remarked longingly.  
  
"Leggy's gonna have to start going on midnight/2 AM candy/ice cream runs!" I remarked from my position, snuggled next to Merry.  
  
"I'm not driving him!" Courtney said, stopping her conversation with Sam long enough to object when Legolas looked at her.  
  
"I'll drive, if I get my food!" Kitty stated.  
  
"Hehe...he," Legolas laughed uneasily.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Aww...they look so cute," Kitty commented as the movie ended and she looked over at Merry and me. We were sound asleep snuggled together.  
  
"Kitty, I think your hormones are way too outta whack for how pregnant you are!" Vanessa objected. "OK, time for the hobbit to leave. If I'm moving back in, he's gotta go."  
  
"Just let them be, Vanessa. They're asleep, for crying out loud," cried Hormonal Kitty (It's a new nickname! ^.^)  
  
"Alright. Fine. He can stay. Night guys. Good night, Pippin," she said and kissed the hobbit.  
  
"Good night, girls," they responded as they headed to their room, which were across they hall and right next to us.  
  
A/N~ OK, finally done! Yea! I "slept" with Merry. Aren't I a whore? ^.^ I'm hyper now! And Kitty, obviously, loved the pregnancy idea and let me run with it. Although, the food comments are true now, and she's not pregnant (at least, we hope not! ^.^). Well, you turn, Nessie. *Tagz her and runs off with Dom* ^.^ Life is good! 


	12. Crashing's not strenuous!

Chapter 12: Oh, Crashing's Not Strenuous  
  
A/N~ Hehe. Kitty's pregnant! Kitty's pregnant! See I wasn't the 1st one of our group. *Pouts* Oh, well, Pippin can change that! Nessie's POV.  
  
A/N2~ OK, I have a new favorite quote, to add with all my others: "You stole my ass and made a ...mini-me!" -Colonel Jack O'Neill (Stargate SG-1). Awesome, ain't it? I also got an awesome new wallpaper for my computer- it's all Dom! ^.^ I love it! Oh, disclaimer!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: All I own is my FOTR DVD, soundtrack, and TTT soundtrack.  
  
Boromir: Is that all?  
  
Me: Oh, yeah. I also own a Legolas poster.  
  
Aragorn: That's everything, right.  
  
Me: Almost. I own my books and clones an author gave me. OH! Also, I am married to Dom (My little sister told me I am and I'm, for once, not disagreeing!). It's nice being Mrs. Monaghan.  
  
Boromir: (while Aragorn calls the mental institution) Riiight. The only things in this fic they do own are themselves, Kitty, Courtney, Alex, and another character you will meet later.  
  
Aragorn: (As the men in white coats sedate and take me away) We now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfic.  
  
Me: I'm coming, Daniel! (Michael Shanks's character gets institutionalized in 1 eppie, therefore, I am coming to him! ^.^)  
  
The next morning, we all awoke, showered, got dressed, and went downstairs for our continental breakfast. We spotted the guys (They were there first because they don't take as long to get ready.) and went over to sit.  
  
Only Legolas and the hobbits (I'm assuming Gandalf too, because he rooms with the hobbits.) looked refreshed. "What's wrong?" I asked Aragorn, looking at the dark circles under his eyes.  
  
"Uhh...Legolas...talked...all night...no sleep..." was all I could decipher, because he was mumbling.  
  
Legolas, on the other hand, was bright and happy. "What are you so cheerful about?" Courtney asked him as he flipped his hair.  
  
"Me? I'm going to be a father! Why wouldn't I be happy?"  
  
"I don't blame you for being happy," Boromir said. "But you didn't have to talk about it for eight straight hours!!"  
  
"Oh. I get why you're so happy now," Christy commented. (A/N2~ OK, I must take this opportunity to state that I am not this dense! Only Jack (Stargate) is that dense! ^.^)  
  
We finished our free breakfast (which was a rip, BTW) and headed towards the car. "What are we going to do today?" I asked.  
  
"Nothing too strenuous," Kitty said. "I'm with a child here!"  
  
"And how pregnant are you, again? Oh, that's right, only a couple of weeks," I replied.  
  
"So! I won't be able to do anything at all in a few months! Then Legolas is going to have to take care of me."  
  
Legolas looked a little frightened by this. "Oh, come on! Don't be such a party pooper!" I said.  
  
"Why don't we just drive around a bit, until we see something interesting?" Courtney asked.  
  
"Fine with me." Christy started walking to the car, to show that the subject was closed. She tried to open the door, but it was still locked. "Grr...I...can't...get...the...door...open!!!" (A/N2~ Again, I must say: I AM NOT THIS DENSE!!! I know when a car door is locked!)  
  
"Umm...Christy?" Merry asked, tentatively. "I think the door is still locked."  
  
"Well, duh!" Christy cried, exasperated. "I was trying to show Courtney that I wanted in."  
  
"I don't have the keys, though," Courtney said. " I thought you had them..."  
  
"No. Vanessa, do you know where they are?"  
  
I shook my head. "The last time I saw them was on the table. Do you think we left them?"  
  
"Let's go see, just to make sure," Boromir said, trying to sound positive. (*Think happy thoughts! Think happy thoughts! *)  
  
Everyone was so caught up in finding the keys; no one noticed the devilish grin Kitty had plastered to her face. And, when we went back in the hotel, Kitty didn't follow.  
  
"See?! Not there." Courtney was looking under the table and yelling at the same time. "Let's see if we dropped them on the way out to the parking lot."  
  
What we saw made our blood run cold (*shivers*). The car, and Kitty, was gone. In the distance, we could hear tires squealing and people screaming.  
  
"Legolas...your crazy wife has the car," Gimli said slowly, taking in the reality.  
  
"The lives of everyone within a 5-mile radius are at stake; we all know how she drives," Aragorn complained.  
  
Just then, there was the unmistakable sound of a crash. "Oh, no..." Courtney said.  
  
A/N~ Oh...cliffie! Sorry it sucks, but Christy said she wanted the spiral. Go...Christy!  
  
A/N2~ Oh, sure! Blame it all on me, why don't you? Wait, you just did! ^.^ The reason the title is what it is is because in a note on Vanessa's chapter, I wrote "Oh, crashings not strenuous at all!" and I thought it fit. I wasn't sure it was obvious enough. Sorry.  
  
You know what I'm going to say, but I'll say it anyway!  
  
REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!! REVIEW! 


	13. All for the love of Pickles and Ice Crea...

Chapter 13: All for the Love of Pickles and Ice  
  
Cream  
  
A/N~ OMG! My Spanish teacher just gave me a really weird look for Kitty's "I'm pregnant!" note on the back of the spiral!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: We don't own anything!  
  
Boromir: Nope, nothing!  
  
Aragorn: Uh...what they said! Nothing!  
  
Me: Say it with me now, so we don't have to go over this again. "The hobbitgirls own nothing." Very good. ( ^.^ Sorry, extremely tired and I have, like, run outta ideas for disclaimers & we still have 11 more chapters after this! Arg! (I'm a pirate! ^.^) I'll stop now.)  
  
"Great! Kitty caused a wreak!" I ranted. "I'm going back inside."  
  
"Why are you going to do that?" Legolas asked, horrified that I didn't really care.  
  
"Well, for one thing, I'm gonna see if she has her cell phone with her. If she does, I'm gonna call and see if she's OK," I answered, heading back inside.  
  
"OH! In that case, I'm coming too!" the Elf cried and followed me.  
  
"Should we go too?" Pippin asked, clueless as usual.  
  
"Butterfly in the sky! I can go twice as high!" they heard Maha and John coming down the street.  
  
"YES!" Gandalf and Gimli yelled in fright and ran inside with the others following.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Kitty?" Legolas asked hesitantly.  
  
"Yeah, babe?" she answered back.  
  
"Are you alright?" the worry was evident in his voice.  
  
"Yeah, why?" she asked nonchalantly.  
  
"We heard a crash and I was worried. I didn't know if you were OK," he told her.  
  
"Awww...you were concerned for me," she commented.  
  
"No, not really," he said flatly. "I was concerned for the child."  
  
"Oh..." she said dejectedly.  
  
"Just joking," he laughed.  
  
"Ha! Ha! Ha!" she forced out.  
  
"I hate to break up this lovefest but gimme the phone!" I demanded and grabbed it away.  
  
"Kitty, what happened?" I asked/yelled.  
  
"Well, apparently you're supposed to stop for red lights here too. I didn't know that and just went right through, so the Kiwis had to stop really fast."  
  
"Oh, well, what are you doing now?" I inquired as Vanessa mouthed the question to me.  
  
"I'm getting my pickles and ice cream! DUH!" she replied.  
  
"Well, once you get to the store, stay there! We'll meet you there," I instructed her.  
  
"OK. See ya later!" she said, happily.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Kitty, what were you thinking?!" Legolas demanded after he had kissed her.  
  
"I wanted my pickles and ice cream!" she answered and went back to munching on her food, using the pickle as a spoon.  
  
"That looks good!" Frodo exclaimed and tried to grab a pickle to taste it, but Kitty jumped away too fast.  
  
"It's mine! My preeeeciiiioooouuuusssss! Stay away!" she screamed and punched the hobbit. "Oops! Hormones!" She smiled, embarrassed.  
  
Legolas just shook his head in disbelief.  
  
A/N~ Whoo! That was a fluffy chapter! It was fun though! You turn, Nessie! Have fun, but not too much! ^.^ Hehehe! 


	14. Like hobbits in a Grocery Store and a Ch...

Chapter 14: Like hobbits in a grocery store and  
  
A change of heart  
  
A/N~ That was a funny chappie, Christy, but this one'll be better! At least, I'll try. Have you noticed this story is starting to revolve around Kitty?  
  
A/N2~ Yeah, I noticed that! You gave me the cliffie, so I had to keep with the Kitty story line!! Grr! You make me (almost) as mad as Alex (and that's saying something!)! ^.^ J/J! OK, Disclaimer time!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Boromir: They own nothing.  
  
Aragorn: So get over it!  
  
Me: Sorry for them being in a bad mood, but they're tired. I've kept them up watching Stargate every night (I really do watch it every night. Sad, ain't it?).  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: *yawn* Yeah, thanks!  
  
Aragorn: This is one of my favorite scenes. *Rolls eyes* I'll be Daniel. 'I do the bidding of Baal. Shut up.'  
  
Boromir: That means I'm Jack. 'Shut up?'  
  
Aragorn: 'OK, I'm paraphrasing a little.'  
  
Me: (I REALLY do love that. I'm not making fun of it in any way, shape, or form.) OK, enough Stargate for you two. Me, on the other hand, will NEVER have enough, contrary to what my stepfather thinks! *Cackles* I love Michael Shanks!  
  
"Umm...Vanessa?" Pippin asked. "Why did your pregnant friend just punch my cousin?"  
  
"Because he tried to take her pickle," I answered flatly. "Besides, he had it coming to him, if he thought he could take food from her."  
  
"Oh." It suddenly hit him that we were inside a grocery store. "Fooooooood!!! Merry! There are rows and rows of food here!"  
  
The two of them took off running down one of the aisles. "Should we go find them?" I asked Christy.  
  
"I suppose," she replied. "Unless we want to pay for everything they consume." (A/N2~ Like I say 'consume'!) (A/N~ It's way too late to be writing. I'm sorry, Christy, but I gotta get some sleep.)  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Pippin...we...gotta...go!" I said, through clenched teeth, as I tried to pry him away from the bakery. It had free cookies set out. Bad idea.  
  
"No!! One more cookie!"  
  
"Pippin. Don't make me get the belt!" (This is not meant to be taken the wrong way. My dad always threatened to hit us with his belt if we were bad.)  
  
His eyes grew wide with fright and he dropped the three cookies he had in his hand. "Not the belt! I'm coming! I'm coming!"  
  
Pippin rushed past me to the car. I looked at Christy, who was still having trouble dragging Merry away, and smiled smugly. "What are you so happy about?" she asked irritably.  
  
"I got my hobbit out faster."  
  
"Just watch. The battle's not over yet." She leaned down and whispered something in Merry's ear. He stopped dead and slowly walked back to the car.  
  
I looked at her, impressed. "What did you tell him?"  
  
"Oh, I just threatened not to kiss him anymore." (A/N2~ I protest! I would NEVER say anything like that!)  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
"Well...maybe."  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Hey! I got an idea!" Courtney, who was driving, exclaimed. "Why don't we go to the beach?"  
  
"Yeah! That'd be fun!" I said.  
  
So we drove back to the hotel to retrieve our bathing suits and a couple of towels. Then Christy (you said you wanted to drive) drove us to 'da beach'.  
  
When Legolas saw the water, he stood rooted to the spot. "Oh, no. It's his little obsession with the ocean," Kitty said. (I had a Breegirls moment. Do you remember, in the Spring Break one (no, we did not get our idea from them), was it Jess? Anyway, Legolas is staring at the ocean and she goes down on him (to get his attention). Ha! God, I love them!)  
  
"It looks like you're going to be here awhile," Courtney said to Kitty, who was snapping in her husband's face. "See you guys!" Courtney and everyone (save Kitts and Eggo-My-Leggo Boi) ran to the beach.  
  
"Hot! Hot! Hot!" I screamed as my feet touched the white sand. "Holy crap! This is hot!" I started hopping around, switching from one foot to the other.  
  
"Well, it's your fault for not wearing shoes," I heard Christy say from behind me. "I tried to tell you, but you wouldn't listen to me." (A/N2~ Since when have I ever been the voice of reason?! She must have my confused with another Christy!)  
  
"(I do the bidding of Baal! ^.^) Shut up!" I replied with false anger. Suddenly two strong hands hoisted me in the air and over someone's shoulder. "Hey! Put me down!" I looked at the hair of the person; it was dark. Aragorn. I relaxed.  
  
(A/N~ As of this moment, I, Vanessa T., am an Aragorn lover. I was watching LotR last night and I realized how much hotter Strider was than Pippin. So, from this moment on, I am in love with Aragorn. Pippin is still cute, don't get me wrong, but Strider is flippin' hott!!)  
  
(A/N2~ It took her how long to figure out what I said the first time I say this movie? I don't really like BB, so I have nothing to say there, but I noticed all the hott guys and everything essential to know about them in the first time I saw it!! ^.^ Also, this is the 3rd time she's changed her LotR crush! I've stayed with Dom while she's gone from Elijah, for a semester, Billy, for another semester, and now Viggo, 1 semester and still going.)  
  
"Does that help your feet any?" he asked me.  
  
I looked at Christy, who had a face of disbelief, looked down, and smiled evilly. "Yup." I pointed to his butt and gave the thumbs-up to Christy and winked.  
  
She, in turn, turned Merry around, pointed to his butt and nodded. (She knows me soooo well!!! ^.^) I rolled my eyes; Pippin didn't have a back like Estel!  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Hello!" Kitty waved her hand in front of Legolas's face. He was still in his trance-like state, and was beginning to form droplets of drool at the edges of his mouth. "I give up!" she exclaimed and threw her hands in the air.  
  
A/N~ I have a World Geo. Project due Wednesday, so I need to go work on it. Well, start it is probably the right words. Go...Christy! *Pinches Aragron's butt and runs off as he draws his sword* Oh...sexy!  
  
A/N2~ Yep, that is sexy! For one of the last times, I will re-iterate this: W. Geo. is evil!!!! I hated it with a passion last year! And from now on, I'll try to remember to make all my author notes in the chapters in parenthesises and italics. (I got tired of typing 'A/N' & 'A/N2') Remember, REVIEW!!!! 


	15. A Day at the Beach and a Breakup

Chapter 15: A Day at the Beach and a Break-up  
  
A/N~ How long have we been on SB now? I dunno. OK, I went back and counted. We're still on Day 3, or Sunday. WOW!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Here are some facts: I am typing on a computer. It is July. Dominic Monaghan is hott. Michael Shanks is hott. We own nothing.  
  
Aragorn: Why am I not on that list?  
  
Me: Cuz Vanessa would kill me if I moved in on her territory.  
  
Boromir: Well, why am I not on the list?  
  
Me: Cuz someone else would kill me for moving in on their territory. I claimed both of them a while ago and am very territorial, so I know my butt would be kicked if I added you two.  
  
Aragorn & Boromir: OK.  
  
"Ugh! He's heavy!" Kitty grunted as she let Legolas fall onto the beach where Frodo, Sam, Pippin, and Gandalf were sitting watching everyone else play in the water. (Tolkien said that no hobbits but the Brandybucks liked the water.) "Watch him and don't let anyone touch him!" she demanded.  
  
"Yes, ma'am," they saluted and she left to join the rest of us.  
  
"Are you sure this water's sanitary?" Gimli asked. "Looks questionable to me!" (Sorry, Tarzan moment!)  
  
"Ah! That was cold!" I screamed as Merry splashed me and looked around for his next victim.  
  
"No! Not me!" Vanessa yelled and ran behind Aragorn and hung on.  
  
"What a second. I have to call Stef!" Kitty thought to herself when she saw Vanessa flirting with Strider and walked back to the beach to inform her cousin of the new love arrangement.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Whoo! That was fun! Cold, but fun!" I yelled as we got ready to go. "Let's go clubbing again tonight!"  
  
"Cool!" Kitty agreed.  
  
"No alcohol for you, though," Vanessa teased.  
  
"Shut up!" Kitty growled back.  
  
"Are we gonna stand here and talk or go clubbing?" Courtney demanded.  
  
"Clubbing!" everyone shouted together, surprising, and probably scaring, the other people on the beach.  
  
.~*~.  
  
After about an hour later we were ready to go (We had to take showers etc.).  
  
"I'll drive," Vanessa volunteered," but only if Strider sits up front with me." Pippin's face fell at Strider's name; he had been hoping to sit up front with her.  
  
"It's OK, Pippin," Courtney comforted him, hoping to get a rise outta Vanessa. "You can sit with me." It didn't work.  
  
"OK," Pippin agreed and thought to himself. "She's pretty. I don't know why I didn't notice it before. Prettier than Vanessa, too, I think" (Sorry about that, I'm not very good at this!)  
  
It didn't take long (Or at least, it didn't seem long, but I couldn't tell; I was making out with Merry.) to get to the club. After we got inside, I headed to the bar and had Boromir get me a margarita before Merry and I started dancing.  
  
"Umm...Vanessa?" Pippin asked.  
  
"Yeah, Pip?" she responded.  
  
"Could we talk- alone?"  
  
"Sure. Excuse me, Strider. I'll be back in a moment," she told the man. "What's up?"  
  
"Umm...how should I phrase this? I don't think we should 'be' together anymore, cuz I kinda like Courtney now," he finished quickly. "Are you crushed?" (I told you I'm not good at this...)  
  
"No, actually. I was gonna talk to you about the same thing, because I'm kinda attracted to Aragorn," she told him, relieved that he wasn't angered. "Friends?" She held out her hand.  
  
"Friends," he assured her, shaking her hand. "Now let's go party!"  
  
"Hobbits!" Vanessa laughed and rolled her eyes.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"You did what, Kitty?!" I demanded as Merry took a break.  
  
"I called Stef and let her know about Vanessa and Acorn (Son of Athorn). She got really p.o.'d and now she's on her way down," my friend replied.  
  
"Are you NUTS?! Stef's gonna try and take Strider away from Nessa and it's gonna end up WWE smackdown!" Courtney exclaimed, holding Pippin's hand.  
  
"I know," she replied demurely, then grinned that evil grin I know so well. "It's gonna be the catfight of the millennium! Come on; let's go home! I'm tired."  
  
Soon we all piled back into the SUV and I drove us back to the hotel (I drive the fastest).  
  
A/N~ I was gonna write more, but it's long enough. Have fun, Nessa! *Runs off with Dom* I love LotR! ^.^  
  
Remember! Review!!! Review!!! Review!!! 


	16. The Art of Awakening Kitty and Celebrity...

Chapter 16: The art of awakening Kitty and  
  
Celebrity Babe-watching  
  
A/N~ Kitty is gonna die b/c of that. I've never met Stef before, but I'm afraid now. I just hope she doesn't hurt me too much. This is gonna be a fluffy chapter (Christy told me to).  
  
A/N2~ I've never met Stef either but according to Kitty they're exactly the same, so there ya go. I personally like this chapter.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Once again: we own nothing.  
  
Boromir: Nope, nothing.  
  
Me: I do have the new Harry Potter book (with the evil ending!), though.  
  
Aragorn: OOO! Can I read it?  
  
Me: Sure.  
  
We made it back to the hotel and said our goodnights (Courtney and Pippin's took quite a while!) and went inside our rooms for bed.  
  
As I was crawling into bed I noticed the others were giving me weird looks. (No, that was a mirror, Vanessa!) "What do I have something on my face?"  
  
"No," Courtney answered.  
  
"Then why are you guys looking at me funny?" (I generally try to avoid things of horror before I go to bed, so why would I look at her?)  
  
"No reason. You just have a funny looking face," Christy said and grinned at me. (She knows me so well!)  
  
"Whatever. I'm going to sleep. See ya in the morning." I turned out my light and quickly fell asleep.  
  
The next morning, Christy, Courtney, and I woke up and started discussing our plans for the day. We let Kitty sleep in a little more for a number of reasons. 1) She looked innocent. (I think not!! That NEVER happens, even in her sleep!) 2) She was quiet so we didn't have to listen to her. 3) She wouldn't wake up even if we tried.  
  
"Why don't we visit Wellington today?" Courtney asked. "It's a bit of a drive (Try across the island!), but we could go, spend the day and drive back.  
  
"Yeah. That sounds OK to me. What about you, Christy?" I asked, turning to her.  
  
"Sure. Umm...do you think it's time that we awoke 'Sleeping Beauty' over there?" (I would NEVER say that! I'm NOT that stupid!)  
  
"Oh, man. This is gonna take awhile," Courtney complained. "Why don't we try splashing water in her face? It worked once before."  
  
Fifteen minutes later, Kitty was still asleep and we had run out of ideas. "Bacon...BACON...BACON!!!" I screamed. "It's no use. Not even food is waking her up!"  
  
"I got it!" Christy cried and ran outta the room. When she came back Legolas was with her. "There she is. It'll give Legolas here some practice in the art of awakening Kitty."  
  
He walked over to her bed and kissed her. "Mmm...Aragorn..." she mumbled, waking up.  
  
"What?!" Legolas cried.  
  
"Just kidding, babe."  
  
"You better be kidding!" I screamed.  
  
.~*~.  
  
Once Kitty was awake, it didn't take long for everyone to get ready, so within an hour we were on our way to Wellington.  
  
"I have to go to the bathroom," Frodo whined.  
  
"We've only been on the road 5 minutes!!" Courtney exclaimed from the driver's seat. Pippin sat up front with her. They actually made quite a cute couple. "Didn't you go at the hotel?"  
  
"Yes!" he cried defensively. "Well...no. But I didn't have to go then!"  
  
Courtney sighed and pulled into a gas station. "Does anyone else have to go?" she asked angrily.  
  
"No," everyone said, cowering in fear at her outburst.  
  
When Frodo returned, we started once again, on our way. "Hey, Pippin. Turn on the radio and find a radio station," I called from my seat next to Aragorn.  
  
"Radio?" he asked. "What's a 'radio'?"  
  
"Umm...nevermind," I replied.  
  
Merry, Aragorn, and I were sharing the second row of the SUV. "I want to sit with Merry!" Christy complained. "I haven't gotten to sit with him all day."  
  
"Alright. Aragorn, move over a bit." He moved as much as he could, which wasn't much, but there wasn't enough room to fit 4 people. "OK. I'll have to sit in his lap."  
  
Christy gave me a look, but Merry tapped her on her shoulder and she immediately began to make out with him. (One question- what's with the tapping on the shoulder leading to making out? I don't know anyone who does that in real life!)  
  
"Comfortable?" Strider asked, looking down at me.  
  
"Quite," I answered.  
  
.~*~.  
  
Once in Wellington, we headed for a place to eat. We found a Burger King and parked the car. (I don't know if they have a BK in NZ, but I don't care. It's my chappie and I say they do.)  
  
"Hi," Courtney said, walking up to the counter. "I need 13 whoppers. Four of them no mustard, 1 ketchup only, 5 no condiments, 3 plain. I also need 13 medium fries and 13 large drinks."  
  
The cashier, a pimply-faced teenager with a nametag that said "Peter", looked as if he'd just won the lottery. "That'll be $68.25."  
  
We paid the boy and took our food to a table the hobbits had found for us. We were happily eating our food when I looked up. I did a double take at what I saw. It was Orlando Bloom, Viggo Mortensen, and Dominic Monaghan!! (I have one thing to say- EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)  
  
The three men walked into the restaurant, ordered and sat down at the table next to ours. Kitty was staring longingly at the back of Orlando's head, I was swooning over Viggo, and Christy looked as though she was about to drool while she was gazing at Dom. (What is this obsession I have with drooling people?"  
  
Orlando suddenly turned around and asked," May we borrow some ketchup?" He was totally oblivious to the 9 strange men who were staring at him, not to mention 4 fangirls.  
  
"Yes, I'll marry you!" Kitty cried. "Oh, wait. You wanted ketchup. Hehe. Here." She handed him a few packets and he turned back around. He muttered, "Fangirls," before he turned.  
  
"'Yes, I'll marry you?'" Legolas asked. "Um...honey, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you're already married to me and carrying our child."  
  
"I know. But look at him! Don't you kinda think he looks like you?"  
  
"No. I look so much better than him."  
  
I blinked several times to awaken me from my daydream. I looked at Aragorn. Viggo was nice, but he looked soooo much better as Strider. I poked him. "¿No te gusta sus papas fritas?" He stared at me blankly. "Do you like the fries?"  
  
"Oh. Yeah, they're OK," he answered and popped one into his mouth. I hugged him. I couldn't like a man who wouldn't touch his fries!  
  
("Can I jump him?" Christy whispered to me, longing written on her face.  
  
"No!"  
  
"Too bad!" *Jumpz* ^.^)  
  
After lunch we went sightseeing. It soon became dark and we decided that it was time to head back to the hotel.  
  
"Vanessa, I believe it's your turn to drive," Courtney said to me, holding Pippin's hand.  
  
"Do you wanna get home before midnight?" I asked. "Cuz if you do, Christy'll have to drive."  
  
"No, it doesn't matter to me," Courtney replied.  
  
"Alright, I'll drive. But Aragorn is sitting up front with me."  
  
A/N~ That was 5 pages long! Fluff always takes up so much room! Anyhoo, I hope you brought a new spiral, Christy. *Tagz her, then spanks Aragorn's butt and tries to look innocent. *  
  
A/N2~ Couple of things. Please note that this is a fanfiction, so we can drive all the way across the North Island in a few hours. Also, we're sorry if we violated the 'No Real People' Clause. We didn't think about it when we had this idea and we couldn't re-write when we did remember the clause. Please don't report us! I beg of you. The rest of this fic is even funnier! OK, I think I explained everything that needed explaining. Just remember to review and feed Aiden, Vanessa's dragon! 


	17. Meeting Stef

Chapter 17: Meeting Stef  
  
A/N~ Good chappie! Except you forgot to mention that Dom is hott/sexy! That's OK, though, because it just means more for me! Hehehe! You actually got one whole day into one chapter?! Ain't gonna happen this time! This might be a long chapter. There I warned you. A note to our Kiwi readers: don't you like the thought of the Fellowship in your country? Maybe not the thought of us though, huh? ^.^  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Aragorn: Nothing! Nothing! Nothing! They own nothing! And they will never, ever, ever own anything! That Tolkien guy made sure of it!  
  
Me: *does a Teal'c and raises eyebrow* OK, for one thing, Tolkien is dead and he died before I was born, about 12 years before. Another thing, stop rubbing it in that we own nothing etc. Or I'll be forced to use this bucket of clean water!  
  
Aragorn: You wouldn't! It took me years to get this dirty!  
  
Me: Yes, I would.  
  
Boromir: She would, and I'd help her with this bar of soap I found in Legolas's things.  
  
Legolas: *pops in from nowhere* And here's some shampoo, in case you run outta real poo (Sorry. Line is property of M*A*S*H).  
  
Me: *takes shampoo, as is outta real poo. ^.^ * Thanks. *Grins evilly* So what do we own?  
  
Aragorn: Everything and you always will! *Cowers in fear* Vanessa won't like it if you make me clean.  
  
Me: Yeah, you'll never match her mind then. OK, we don't own Romeo & Juliet, but we own everything else, thanks to Aragorn! ^.^  
  
"O-M-G! Life is perfect!" Kitty shouted, once we were safely in our room. "I'm married to Legolas, AND I'm carrying his child, AND I saw Orli AND I talked to him!"  
  
"And made a fool of yourself: 'Yes I'll marry you'," Vanessa pointed out and then looked thoughtful. "Viggo looked hott, but I prefer Strider. He's got the grungy, dirty, hott 'n' sexy Ranger look. What's wrong Court? You're really quiet."  
  
"You three all got to see 'your' actors and I didn't," she pouted. "Why wasn't Billy there? He and Dom are best friends; they should hang out together!"  
  
"Sorry, Court. And who knows where he was?" I sympathized, and I had MY fun. "O-M-G! Did you see Dom?! Can you say SEXY?! ("Sexy," they replied deadpan.) He had the goatee and everything! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
I would have continued, but they all threw pillows at me and I had to duck. Even with evasive maneuvers, I got hit.  
  
"They got me! Ack! They have made worm's meat of me! I'm dying! Dying! Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave woman," I groaned and fell.  
  
"Yea!" they cheered.  
  
"Shut up!" I told them still lying down. Then I sat up and shouted, "I LIVE!!!" and stuck my tongue out/rolled my eyes at their downcast faces. "I'm tired! I'm going to bed to dream about Dom! Hehehe!"  
  
_-*-_  
  
The next day we all got up late, especially the four of us girls. We had actually stayed up later than we planned, talking about the guys.  
  
"What do y'all want to do today?" I asked.  
  
"I dunno. Let's just walk around here & enjoy the scenery," Vanessa suggested. I raised an eyebrow at this; I knew she just wanted to see Strider "roughing it" and "in the wild".  
  
"Sounds like fun," Kitty agreed. "And I'll get the exercise I need for the baby." She patted her stomach.  
  
"Whatever," Boromir said. "What?! I heard them use it!" He pointed at us.  
  
"Sure, Mellon," Gandalf said, shaking his head.  
  
"I'm gellin' like a felon. Hey, Leggy. Are you gellin'?" Kitty said as those of us who understood it laughed.  
  
"Huh?" the Isitari asked a confused look on his old face. Legolas just looked a bit skeptical of his wife's sanity.  
  
"It's a commercial on TV," Courtney explained.  
  
"Oh," Strider said, unsure. "Let's just go."  
  
_-*-_  
  
We hadn't been walking long before we heard a squeal ("Aragorn!") & someone hugged the aforementioned Ranger from behind.  
  
"Stef!" Kitty cried, trying to act surprised at her cousin's sudden appearance. "What are you doing here?!"  
  
Stef let go of Aragorn (much to his relief; he couldn't breathe). "A little bird told me someone was moving in on my Acorn," she replied saucily. "Where's the little wench?"  
  
"Hey! That's Arwen's name!" I protested softly enough that Aragorn couldn't hear, but loud enough so Stef could.  
  
"True, but where is she?!"  
  
"I'm right here," Vanessa announced, bravely (I woulda been scared to face Stef!) stepping out from Legolas's shadow. "What do you want?"  
  
"My man!"  
  
"Umm...do I get a say in this?" Aragorn asked from the sidelines of the fight.  
  
"No!" they both shouted, still glaring angrily at each other.  
  
"I'd like a word or two with you," Stef said, suddenly calm.  
  
"And but just two words?" Why not couple them with something; Make it two words and..." the still enraged Vanessa stopped suddenly as if searching for a word, "...and a blow."  
  
"Actually, I was hoping for just two words and running away with my Acorn (That's Stef's nickname for him, BTW), but two words and a blow works fine for me," Stef told everyone. "Here are your words: 'he's mine!!' and here's your blow!" With that Stef punched Vanessa in the face. Hard. (Right here Vanessa wrote some not nice words on my paper about Stef dying... *shrugs* I guess it's just angst. ^.^)  
  
"OW!! I wasn't being serious! But fine! It you wanna fight, I'll oblige!" Vanessa screamed and fought back.  
  
"This is fun," Kitty whispered to me. "Got any popcorn?"  
  
"Yeah, it is fun and no I don't carry popcorn around with me. You know that if we don't stop this, and soon, one of them's gonna kill the other over him," I replied, pointing at Strider.  
  
"I know, but it's sooooo much fun!" she pouted, then raised her voice. "Wait! Stop! The baby's coming!"  
  
The two girls stopped in mid-fight. Stef still held some of Vanessa's hair and Vanessa stopped her arm millimeters from Stef's cheekbone.  
  
"Isn't it too early for it to come?" Vanessa asked.  
  
"How pregnant are you?" Stef wondered aloud.  
  
"Yes, it's too early. I'm only, like, a month pregnant," she answered. "But y'all need to stop fighting."  
  
"Why?" they asked in tandem.  
  
"I dunno," she answered truthfully, then looked at me. "Why do they need to stop?"  
  
"Because I have an idea," I informed them.  
  
"What is it?" Vanessa demanded, her arm still millimeters from contact with the other's skin.  
  
"We can clone Aragorn," I said, and while the girls had looks of glee on their faces, Aragorn looked worried.  
  
"And since the Fellowship needs the original Aragorn, Stef, you can have the clone. You can even name him 'Acorn', if you like."  
  
"YEA!!" they cried and helped each other up.  
  
"It was nice meeting you, Stef," Vanessa told her, shaking her hand.  
  
"You, too, Vanessa," Stef agreed and walked off with her clone, Acorn.  
  
A/N~ OK, I know the fight sucked! I think I was sick that day, or something. Also I know you can't really clone people, but it's a ff! Have fun! We're still on Day 5 though. We should be heading home soon too. *Pinches Merry's butt and runs off with him* *yells back* Remember to Review!! 


	18. For want of TexMex

Chapter 18: For want of Tex-Mex  
  
A/N~ Hehe. Funny chappie, Christy. But, why couldn't I just have both Aragorn and his clone? He looks better on me anyway! I just got back from a math contest...and I won $75! Whoo-hoo! Go me! *Grabs Aragorn and forces him to do the squirrel dance with me* Anyway, on with the fic.  
  
A/N2~ Thank you, although I didn't really think it all that funny towards the end. Also, you are not worthy to have both Aragorn and Acorn! Oh, and even though it won't be 4th of July when you read this, happy Independence Day to our fellow Americans (And anyone else who wants to celebrate it)!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: J.R.R. Tolkien left me all of his characters in his will, therefore I own EVERYTHING! *cackles* Mwahahahahaha!  
  
Aragorn: I thought you said he died before you were born.  
  
Me: I did, and he did, but he was psychic and knew I was coming and put it in his will. *Looks around to see if either believes that*  
  
Boromir: I don't think he was psychic, but I do think you're psycho.  
  
Me: *grins* That's definitely true.  
  
As soon as Stef and her clone were on their way, I wiped that fake smile off my face. "Who does she think she is?!" I screamed.  
  
"As if I would let her take my man! Yeah, right! But I showed her. (No, you didn't...) She won't be messing with Vanessa T. Anymore."  
  
"So I'm your man now?" Aragorn asked me, a smile creeping onto his face.  
  
"Yes, yes you are," I retorted. "Do you have a problem with that?"  
  
"No."  
  
I did a fangirl squeal and jumped into his arms. It was nice having a man who was bigger; I couldn't ever do this with Pippin!  
  
"Are we ever going to finish our tour of the area?" Christy asked impatiently. Both her and Courtney were holding their hobbit's hands and, surprisingly enough, Kitty wasn't making out with Legolas. Instead, she was just standing there next to him. (I think she's broken...)  
  
"Whatever," I replied, still in Aragorn's arms.  
  
"See!" yelled Boromir excitedly. "I told you I heard that expression from them! I'm not crazy!"  
  
"Umm...no, but you sound like a pansy when you say it though," Christy replied. "That's a saying used by mostly girls."  
  
Boromir had a look of confusion. "'Pansy'? I don't follow."  
  
"We'll tell you when you're older," I said.  
  
"But I'm older than you!" he whined.  
  
"Whatever," Courtney scoffed.  
  
"There you go with that word again," Boromir said softly. (I think Boromir is so fun to make fun of. Sean Bean has a nice body, and all, but I think I'll choose Viggo over him.)  
  
.~*~.  
  
"I'm hungry," Pippin complained. "Courtney, can you tell them I'm hungry?"  
  
"Guys," Courtney said, sounding exasperated. "Pippin's hungry. Come to think of it, so am I. Where are we eating tonight?"  
  
"I vote for Mexican food," I put in. "I haven't had a decent Tex-Mex in ages! Is that alright with you guys?"  
  
"OK with me," Christy answered. "Are you guys up for trying something new?"  
  
They nodded. I whispered to Christy, "I think we should pick up some Bean-o for Gandalf, first. You know how old people are about spicy food."  
  
Legolas obviously heard this, and looked at us sternly. "Are you implying that he has a gas problem?"  
  
Christy looked at me. "We'll soon find out, won't we?"  
  
Once we were at the restaurant, Kitty did a quick head count to make sure everyone was there. "11...12...Oh, I think we're missing someone. I only counted 12 people."  
  
"Kitty, did you count yourself?" the Elf asked.  
  
"I don't know. 11...12...13. Ha! It works. OK, we're all here."  
  
Just then the waiter walked up. "How many people in your party, señorita?" he asked Kitty.  
  
"It's señora," she retorted and showed her ring to him. "And there's 13 of us."  
  
Estebon (the Mexican pimp! Inside 6th period Spanish joke), our waiter, looked a little put out by Kitty's engagement ring, but saw Courtney and smiled.  
  
I leaned closer to Courtney. "I do believe our waiter has a crush on you!" I whispered.  
  
She looked at him and wrinkled her nose in disgust. "Eww! That's gross! He's about 50 years too old!"  
  
"Just hold Pippin's hand and he'll get the clue," I said.  
  
Estebon did, in fact, see this and rolled his eyes. "Do you want a table or a booth?"  
  
"Booth," I answered. I know, I know my intentions were not selfless. I just wanted to be forced to sit closer to Strider. So sue me for wanting to be next to him. Honestly, can you blame me?!  
  
Señor Estebon led us to an extremely large booth, which the hobbits got in. Frodo and Sam first on each side, followed by Merry and Pippin. Christy sat next to Merry and Courtney next to Pip. Boromir was next to Gimli, who was next to Gandalf, who was next to Court. I sat next to Aragorn, who was next to Legolas, who was next to Kitty, who was next to Christy.  
  
Our waiter took our drink orders and gave us menus to look at.  
  
"What are 'fag-eat-as'?" Sam asked. (We know, it's spelled 'fajitas')  
  
"It's strips of meat, sizzled, then you wrap them in a tortilla. You can put avocados, tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, just about anything wit them," I answered.  
  
"Oh. But that still doesn't answer my question."  
  
"How doesn't it answer it?" Christy asked him.  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Meat."  
  
"But-" he started, but was cut off by Christy.  
  
"Look! Either you want them, or you don't! Now what's it gonna be?! Come on, I don't have all day!"  
  
"I'll just have a taco," he said quietly, placing his menu at the head of the table, slowly, in defeat.  
  
"You tell him, Christy," Maha said from the table next to us.  
  
"What the frick are you doing here?!" I screamed. "And where is John? I never thought I'd see you without him."  
  
"I think he's cheating on me," he answered, a tear forming in his eye, which he brushed away. "I found a pair of boxers in the room, which I know aren't mine or his."  
  
"Ahh! Stop!" I yelled, covering my ears and closing my eyes tightly. "Make it stop! Make it stop!"  
  
"Calm down, Nessie," Christy said to me. (NO! NO! NO! DO NOT CALM DOWN! KEEP YELLING! I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THAT!)  
  
"How can I?! He's over there talking about- I can't even say it! Ack! Evilness! Anyway, you're one to talk about calming down. At least I don't yell at little hobbits about fajitas."  
  
"Hey! Well, you have to admit, it was annoying."  
  
Just then, Estebon came and took our order. It was one thing when he smiled and flashed his teeth at Kits and Court, but when it was my turn, it was GROSS! (I notice he doesn't even seem to look at me! Thank God I'm the ugly one!!! ^.^) (You had Haldir, in one of our fics, kiss you. I want a yucky man to hit on me! Except Haldir isn't old (Well, he actually is old, but he's an Elf, so he looks good old!) and yucky. Why can't I get an Elf to love?! Oh, because I have my Estel. He was brought up by Elves, close enough!)  
  
"What can I get you miss?" he asked and flashed his pearly whites at me. (Please tell me none of you took that as anything other than his teeth.)  
  
I kinda looked at him funny (That comes from having a funny-looking face...), but ordered my cheese enchiladas anyway. Estebon winked at me and left. When he left, the laughter, which I had bottled up inside of me, broke out. A 60 something yr. Old winking at a teen? That's not something you see very often. At least I hope not. Yrch. (Nessa, I corrected your age thing.)  
  
Apparently I was laughing quite hard, because I began to snort, something I rarely do.  
  
The food came, which was quite good for not being from Texas, the only true place to get Tex-Mex. Then, came the dreaded bill.  
  
"Holy crap!" I stated, taking a look at the bill.  
  
"Language..." Gimli grumbled. (Oh, go screw a cow! LOL! I'm hyper!)  
  
"The frickin' bill is over $100!!" I whispered to everyone. "There's no way we can afford to pay this."  
  
"We could sneak out," Kitty said.  
  
"Uh...Kitty, have you ever seen 13 people sneak out of a restaurant unnoticed before? Even if you had, which I doubt, were they dressed funny and owed $123?!" Courtney asked.  
  
"Well...no. But that's beside the point."  
  
"Do you think we should just tell him that we can't pay?" Merry asked.  
  
"No. I think we should try and sneak out," I said. "Besides, if they catch us, the only thing we might have to do is wash dishes."  
  
So, one at a time, we quietly snuck out the side door. But Gimli, being the stupid dwarf that he is, said, "Do you think we should leave a tip?" One of the busboys then shouted, "They didn't pay!" and pointed at us.  
  
"Crap! Run to the car!!" I shouted. A few of the waiters chased after us though.  
  
Kitty was running the slowest as she was with child, so Legolas gracefully picked her up and made a sprint to the SUV, which we had waiting for them.  
  
"Go. GO. GO!!" We yelled to Christy, who drove because she claims she drives the fastest.  
  
As soon as we made it to the hotel we all let out a sigh of relief. We just had a free dinner!  
  
"I'm still hungry," Pippin said from the backseat.  
  
"Shut the--" I began. (She read my mind!)  
  
"Language," Boromir interrupted. Stupid Gondorian Man always ruins my fun.  
  
A/N~ Fluff. Pure fluff. But I don't care. Well, have fun with the next chappie, Christy!  
  
A/N2~ Hey, sorry about the spacing if it's weird. My computer is nuts! Well, only 6 more chapters, then I'll get #5 up. Just remember to review and feed Vanessa's pet dragon, Aiden. 


	19. Caffeine is god!

Chapter 19: Caffeine is god!!!  
  
A/N~ Whoo! You made me mean in that chapter! I'm gonna work on my sonnet; be back. OK, I'm back! My sonnet's good (in my opinion). It's about J.R.R. Tolkien. I need to post it on my solo name. I'll tell you when I do. Anyhoo, on with the fic. It's still Day 5 (Tue.), but it should be Day 6 (Wed.) by the end of the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: I own everything! Including that which is not LotR! Everything in the world! *Cackles*  
  
Boromir: Do we have any sedatives around here?  
  
Aragorn: She's going on her 'power-trip' phase!  
  
Me: Nope. This is my 'hyped-up on caffeine' phase! Caffeine is GOOOOOODDDD!!!!!! (If you can't tell, I like caffeine!)  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: Yea! The sedative is here!  
  
Me: It's Michael Shanks! Yea! I LOVE my sedative! ^.^  
  
"OMG! I can't believe we just did that!" I exclaimed in amazement, yet again. "Not that Estebon didn't deserve it!" I snickered when I imagined the look on our waiter's face when he found out that he'd been stiffed with a $123 bill.  
  
"Now, on to important business," Vanessa said. "Who wants ice cream?"  
  
"Huh?" the Fellowship asked.  
  
"More importantly, is it food?" Pippin inquired.  
  
"Yes, it's food!" Courtney screamed, then suddenly looked shy. "Sorry. I've been holding that in for a while."  
  
"OoooooooKkkkkkkk. On to more pressing matters," I broke the silence (*breaks silence* *crash! *) and sat down next to Merry. Evidently he was on the same train of thought that I was (Choo-choo!) and we started making out. (I like doing that. Can you tell?)  
  
"Ewww!! Mushy stuff!" Kitty mock-wailed.  
  
"You're one to talk!" Courtney protested for me and pointed at Kitty's stomach. I had to remember to thank her one day! "Anyhoo, I'm tired. I'm going to bed," she told us all and started walking towards our room (we were in Aragorn & company's room), with Pippin following like a lost puppy.  
  
"Nuh-uh! No, you don't!" Vanessa screamed. "I wanna sleep tonight! Without the 'lullaby' of 'I love you's', preferably (Meaning without Courtney and Pippin saying 'I love you' all night. I confused Vanessa... Not too hard to do.)!" and left (after giving Aragorn a kiss goodnight).  
  
Soon it was only Strider, Legolas, Gimli, Boromir, Merry, and myself in the room.  
  
"Do you mind doing that elsewhere?!" Gimli asked, exasperated.  
  
"Yes," I retorted, then an evil grin spread across my face. "OK, fine. We'll go."  
  
Outside, in the hall, on the way to the hobbits' room, I griped. "He's just mad cause he don't got a chick!"  
  
"You're right," Merry laughed. "He is."  
  
When we reached the room, I crawled into bed (Fully clothed, you pervert! ^.^ I do have my scruples. And besides, there were 4 other people in the room!) and snuggled with him like he was a little 'osito de peluche' (teddy bear) and we soon fell fast asleep.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Uh-oh! Christy didn't come home last night!" Vanessa said.  
  
"That little whore!" Kitty said evilly then stopped cackling. "Wait. That was NOT 'G'!! I can't believe I said that! Must be the hormones. Let's find her quick; I'm hungry!"  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Shame, shame! I know your name!" Kitty yelled. (I do not own The Goonies; see that sedative worked! I need another sedative!)  
  
"Huh?" Sam asked, waking up.  
  
"Not you! Them!" Vanessa said, pointing at Merry and me. We were still snoring, oblivious to the world (my natural state- oblivious.)  
  
"Do you think..." Kitty began evilly.  
  
"No, Vanessa doesn't think. You know that, Kitty," Courtney interrupted.  
  
"You're right, but do you suppose we should take a picture of this 'Kodak (I do not own Kodak either. Keep that sedative here! Do not take it away! I must drool over the hottness! ^.^) moment' and give it to her parents?"  
  
"Oh, no you don't!" I shouted, scaring everyone.  
  
"We thought you were asleep!" Vanessa protested.  
  
"Well, we're not," Merry retorted, sitting up. (And Vanessa, I did not appreciate your note of 'I hate him...'! That was not nice! Maybe I should call you 'Urgo' (remember that Stargate eppie? I love that one!)! My sedative looked so hott! ^.^ )  
  
"Been awake for a while," I added, "I wondered what y'all's reaction would be if I didn't come 'home'. It was rather amusing watching y'all try to think of things to do to us while you thought we were sleeping."  
  
"Oooooo! If I weren't pregnant, I'd kill you!" Kitty growled.  
  
"But you are, so you won't," I retorted and smiled. "Now, if you'll excuse me, and even if you won't, I'm gonna go take a shower and get some breakfast. See ya in a little bit."  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Whooo! Caffeine!" I yelled. "I love caffeine! Caffeine, caffeine, caffeine!"  
  
"What's wrong with her?!" Sam asked, a little frightened, as he had never seen me hyper.  
  
"Many things..." Vanessa muttered. (See, Nessa, I put your note in! LOL!)  
  
"Caffeine is good! Caffeine is god!" I babbled on, stroking my bottle of Vanilla Coke (I currently don't own any of that, but I did when I wrote this! And I miss Sean!!!)  
  
"I thought Tolkien was god," Vanessa protested, pointing at Strider (everyone's favorite ranger and Vanessa's current favorite Fellowship character), Legolas (everyone's favorite Elf (in the Fellowship), and currently Kitty's husband), Pippin (well, Courtney can keep him... or Hobbitloverlady, as she seems to like him), and Merry (my wonderful hobbit!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ).  
  
"True," I agreed, serious for a moment. "I guess I'm just polytheistic. I love caffeine! I love Tolkien!" I sang.  
  
"Hey! What about me?!" Merry demanded.  
  
"And I love you!" I finished singing and kissed him. (Sorry! I'm really hyper as I'm writing (and typing) this, because I have not had my caffeine today, which I am addicted to!) Then I started chanting again.  
  
"Caffeine! Caffeine! Caffeine! I love caffeine! Caffeine is goood!" I yelled with a possessed chipmunk face and started twitching.  
  
"Uh...I think we need a tranquilizer (or maybe a sedative? ^.^ ) over here!" Courtney exclaimed, a bit scared. "Either that or she should stop stroking the coke and start drinking it!"  
  
A/N~ OK, I've had this thing, for, like, 3 days! I don't want it anymore! Take it away, Nessa! *Tags her and goes to stroke the coke some more* 


	20. Caffeine and Chicken

Chapter 20: Caffeine and Chicken  
  
A/N~ I have a huge Spanish test next period, but instead of studying, I'm here writing a chapter. You better appreciate this. Like I said in one of those notes in your chapter, why haven't I really kissed Aragorn? He has all that manly stubble and in real life, I wouldn't be able to stay away. But in this story, I have. Am I broken? Anyhoo, here's the next chapter in Nessa's POV.  
  
A/N2~ I'm sorry about the format. My computer's being screwy. Why do you need to study? I passed all those tests with 'A's and I never studied. You haven't kissed him because I don't want you to! Yes, you're broken. No! Wait! I remember what happened the last time you were broke! Nevermind! You're fine!!!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: Uhhh... too tired to think up a disclaimer and my computer's being psycho right now & I dunno how to fix it! Ahhh!  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: Hi. We had to say something for it to be a good disclaimer.  
  
Me: True. It's good. Now, leave me. I'm gonna sleep!  
  
Boromir & Aragorn: OK.  
  
"I'm gonna kill her!" I muttered to the group at breakfast. "She's driving me nutzo!" (My specialty!) Christy was still hopping around the dining area, stroking her 20 oz. Bottle of Vanilla Coke.  
  
"I love caffeine! I love caffeine! I love caffeine! Oh, and Tolkien too!" she continued to sing, while practically jumping off the walls.  
  
"It'll get better," Courtney said. "She's almost onto her 'calming soda', so she'll calm down in a few moments." (I have a 'calming' soda now?)  
  
"I hope so," Legolas commented, holding his pointed ears closed with his hands. "If she doesn't shut up in the next 5 minutes, I'm leaving."  
  
"I agree," Kitty said.  
  
Just then we heard, "Uh-oh. No more soda. Caffeine go bye-bye."  
  
"Yea!" we cheered.  
  
"Finally!" Courtney said, exasperated. "I didn't realize how much 20 ounces really was." (It's 1 pint (I love pints!) and 4 oz!)  
  
"I found another dollar!" Christy cried. "I'm gonna go buy another drink. I'll be back in a few moments." Then she skipped off to the vending machines.  
  
I started to rise and chase after her, but Aragorn held me back. "Let go! Let go of me! I'm going to kill her! I figure, if I kill her then we won't have to listen to her proclaim her love for caffeine." (But...but...but...I love caffeine...)  
  
"True," he answered. "We wouldn't have to her babble about sodas. Does anyone object if I set her loose?"  
  
A chorus of 'no's and one 'yes' erupted. Merry was, of course, the only objector.  
  
"(I do the bidding of Baal!) Shut up, hobbit-boi!" Kitty screamed. "If she's not going to shut up on her own, we're gonna make her." (She's one to talk; you can hardly get her to shut up!)  
  
"No! But...but...she'll calm down eventually." (He sooo does not know me! Cuz, no I won't!! I refuse!!)  
  
"Fine," Courtney said. "I give her 5 minutes. But if she doesn't calm down, Aragorn, you have my permission to let Vanessa go."  
  
"Yea!" I squealed, clapping my hands in glee.  
  
Christy then walked out, holding a bottle of Cherry Coke this time. "What'd I miss?" she asked, quite normally. "It's a funny thing; I don't remember anything past buying a coke this morning to right now."  
  
"Why doesn't that surprise me?" Legolas muttered. (That's, like, my favorite line by Eggo-my-Leggo boi.)  
  
.~*~.  
  
Since we awoke a little late, and we had to wait for Christy to calm down, ½ the day was already spent. So we decided to spend the remainder of the day at the hotel pool.  
  
"Wow!" Sam cried, looking at the size of the pool. "That is way too deep!"  
  
"It's only 6 ft," I retorted, shedding my robe and jumping in the pool. "Come on, Sam; it's nice and warm."  
  
He shook his head. "I think I'll just lay here, thanks."  
  
Just then, Gimli appeared. He was wearing only a hunter green Speedo (don't own that either (thank God!). See I'm getting better with the disclaimers. Can my sedative come back?). "How's the water, lass?" he asked.  
  
I couldn't answer. My eyes were just about bulging out of my head at the horrid sight in front of me. I looked at Christy, who wore an expression that matched my own.  
  
"What...when...where on earth did you get that?!" I asked, slightly flabbergasted.  
  
"This? Why, I found it in the laundry room. I can't understand why anyone would leave it behind."  
  
Just then, John and Josh R. Walked out of the hotel and headed to the pool area. Josh caught sight of Gimli, looked him up and down, and cried, "That's my Speedo!!"  
  
"It is not!" Gimli shouted.  
  
"Is too!"  
  
"'Tis not!"  
  
"Oh, well, you look good in it," Josh said and winked at the dwarf. "I'll see you around." Then he turned to John," Come, dearest. I have a surprise for you."  
  
John's eyes lit up. "Oh, how I do love surprises!" And the 2 of them walked back into the hotel.  
  
"Well, that was um...interesting," said Courtney.  
  
An hour later everyone, save the hobbits, but not Merry, and Gandalf, were in the pool playing "Chicken." I'm sure you can tell who was with whom, but for your entertainment, I'm going to tell you anyway. Christy was, of course, with Merry; Kitty was with Legs; I was with my hott- n-sexy-ranger-with-a-nice-butt; Courtney was with Boromir, since Pippin and water don't mix, and I don't think she'd be very happy with Gimli; and Gimli was the referee. Now, on with the game.  
  
Gimli blew the whistle (I dunno where he got it from. But I don't care! It's just a frickin' story!) and the game began. Christy, being the witch that she is (ya know I'm joking, right? Right?!), attacked me first. She tried to push me, but I had too good a grip on my greasy (but still hott) Ranger. "Die!" she screamed.  
  
"Never!" I yelled. But too late, because I slipped and plummeted into the clear water. When I resurfaced, I saw that Courtney had fallen too, so we waded across the pool to wait for the game to end.  
  
It didn't take long, though, because Kitty delivered a nasty blow and the game was over. "That's no fair!" Christy whined. "You had an Elf!"  
  
"What does that have to do with anything?" I asked (DUH! Leggo is, like, 2 or 3 feet taller than Merry, so she's about a yard taller and just had to kick me to get me off!! Grr!)  
  
"I...don't...know. But she cheated! I know it!"  
  
"Whatever," Kitty said. "Let's call it a day; I'm tired and hungry." She then turned to her husband. "Get my towel. Oh, wait, get my towel, please. I have to start learning manners, before the baby comes."  
  
.~*~.  
  
It was late. Really late. Like, 1 AM late. Got it? It was late. I awoke with a start. It was that horrid dream again (refer to fic #2, if you don't remember). I looked around the room. Everyone was sleeping soundly. 'At least that means I didn't scream out loud.'  
  
I decided on going for a walk to calm myself down. So I grabbed by UT (University of Texas) sweatshirt and headed out the door, closing it behind me. As soon as I did this, though, I remembered that I had failed to grab the key. "Damn!" I cursed under my breath.  
  
I blew it off and headed to the pool area. There wasn't anyone there, thankfully, so I sat down on one of the lawn chairs. It was a semi-cool night and I was thankful that I had my sweatshirt. Sitting there was quite relaxing, so I decided to close my eyes for a few minutes, before trying to find a way back into the room.  
  
A few minutes after I had closed my eyes, I heard someone open the patio door. "Might I join you?" a strong (sexy!) voice that I knew all too well said behind me.  
  
I opened my eyes and looked up; there, standing above me, was Aragorn. "Sure," I answered, moving over to allow him room to sit down. "You didn't happen to grab a room key before you left, did you?" He shook his head. "Darn."  
  
"Are you cold?" he asked.  
  
Since I was only in a pair of lounge shorts and my sweatshirt, I was pretty cold. "Yeah."  
  
He put his arms around me and pulled me close. (Can anyone see where I'm going with this? *Grins evilly* I love toying with boys' emotions.) I made a mental note to rub it in Christy's face that my man was romantic; all she ever does is make out with Merry. (She says that like it's a bad thing! It's a very good thing!)  
  
"It's nice out tonight," I commented as I looked up into his penetrating blue eyes. Ooooo...melt!! Slowly, I leaned up towards him for a kiss, closing my eyes in the process.  
  
"There you are!" I heard someone yell. I opened my eyes and turned around. Christy. She always interrupts my intimate moments. (What can I say? It's my specialty!)  
  
"Yeah, we're here!" I called back to her.  
  
"Well, come on, you two. It's cold."  
  
I gave Aragorn an apologetic look and a goodnight kiss/hug before following my best friend inside.  
  
A/N~ Sorry I was so mean to you, Christy. You know I love you! Well, not love you, but you know what I mean. Your turn!  
  
A/N2~ I'm seriously starting to think Alex was right about you. I mean you say you love me, you never make out with Aragorn, you make my conveniently appear during an intimate moment...the list goes on! ^.^ J/J! Review! 


	21. Kitty's gone mad!

Chapter 21: Kitty's Gone Mad!  
  
A/N~ Good chapter. Oh, man. I'm sooo tired so this chapter might be a little weird. Also I wrote most of this on the band Spring Break to Corpus Christi, so *shakes head and mumbles*. Alright, I warned you, so you can't blame me if you go insane.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Legolas: *runs in dressed as Will Turner, Orli's Pirates character, as if you didn't know that already!* Here they come!  
  
Aragorn: Here who comes?  
  
Legolas: The rabid fangirls. Look!  
  
Boromir: AH! He's right! RUN!!  
  
Kitty: They're NOT getting MY Elf! *Activates portable forcefield and carries it, with Legolas inside, away*  
  
Me: OK. Yeah. We're all sane here. *Rolls eyes* In addition to being sane, we own all that you read about.  
  
Boromir: She's doing it again.  
  
Aragorn: Maybe we need the sedative back...  
  
Me: Yea! I get my sedative back!  
  
"What did you do that for?!" Vanessa demanded as soon as we were out of earshot of Strider.  
  
"What did I do?" I asked innocently.  
  
"You know," she growled.  
  
"What? Rescue Aragorn from kissing you?" I giggled while she glared at me. "At least I remembered a key to the room!"  
  
"How'd you know about that?"  
  
"I couldn't sleep. Now, come on; I'm tired. Let's get back to the room."  
  
.~*~.  
  
After we all got up and eat (and I had my caffeine), we sat and stared at each other for lack of anything else to do. (Vanessa says she's scared. I don't know why; staring at each other is quite normal!)  
  
Then, just to break the silence, I started talking to my Coke.  
  
"How now, Spirit! Whither wander you? (That line is property of William Shakespeare, or whoever owns his stuff now.)" I asked the Vanilla Coke.  
  
"I wander where ever I want to," it replied.  
  
"Ah!" I screamed and dropped it (it's a good thing the lid was on). It bounced on the floor several times as everyone else cracked up. As I glared at them, Kitty and Legolas grew hysterical.  
  
"Kaitlyn!" I yelled, using the dreaded full first name. "You have rubbed off WAY too much on that Elf!"  
  
"So?" she pouted, then cackled. "I've corrupted my Elf!"  
  
Legolas glanced at her and rolled his eyes (not as sexy as an Aragorn eyeroll, but close!). "She's on her corruption kick again!"  
  
Then, out of the middle of nowhere, we heard a rabid (fangirl) squeal, "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Legolas!!!!" and suddenly a tall blonde chick ran up and tried to tackle poor Leggy.  
  
(I just got a Legolas poster and an Aragorn bookmark, in addition to my Merry and Pippin bookmark! EEEEEEEE!!)  
  
The fangirl did not stand a chance. Kitty pulled a 'Matrix' on the girl and kicked her from here to Kingdom Come!  
  
"That's it!" Kitty growled. "If another fangirl tries to touch MY Elf, I will not be responsible for my actions!" She stood and glared around the room for several minutes, then seemed to calm down. "Let's go shopping!"  
  
"OK, I wanna get a postcard for Daniel. I told him I would because he was jealous that he couldn't come," Vanessa replied after the initial shock wore off.  
  
"But...but...Dumplings (I have no clue where I got that from, so don't ask.), I don't want to go shopping," Legolas protested.  
  
"But, Baby, it'll be fun," Kitty pleaded.  
  
"No."  
  
"It'll make me happy," she whined.  
  
"Nuh-uh!"  
  
"You better do it, Legolas. She's gonna start yelling in a few minutes," Courtney commented.  
  
"She yells when she's mad. You don't want to see her mad. She hits things, and people, when she's mad," I threw in.  
  
"Uh...uh...OK," he stammered, much to the dismay of the rest of the male population and they gave him the dirtiest looks they could manage, which, compared to the ones girls can throw, were pathetic.  
  
"He's really whipped," Pippin whispered to Boromir.  
  
"And you're not?" the man thought as Courtney snapped her fingers and Pippin went running towards her.  
  
"Let's go!" Kitty demanded.  
  
"We're coming! We're coming!" Gandalf cried hurriedly.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"What do you mean you don't make them?!" Kitty cried. We were in a place-y that makes/sells stamps. "How could you not make stamps that say 'Back off! He's married to me!' or 'Back off! He's mine!'? Huh? What have you got to say for yourself?!"  
  
"Umm...s-s-s-s-sorry?" the clerk, whose nametag said 'Henry', stammered, a bit flustered at catching the full force of Hurricane Kitty.  
  
"Come on!" Kitty said. "Alright! Everyone back to the hotel!"  
  
"But we didn't buy anything yet!" Courtney, Vanessa, and I protested while the Fellowship breathed sighs of relief. They remember what happened last time we went shopping.  
  
"Thank Eru for her moodswings!" I heard more than one of them mutter.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Kitty? Can we come in yet?!" I demanded to know. "The rest of us need in that room too! Vanessa and I were planning on going to the pool with Aragorn and Merry. (They have an inside pool, BTW.)"  
  
"Have fun."  
  
"We need our suits!" Vanessa pouted.  
  
"Too bad. Now go away!"  
  
Kitty had locked herself in our room as soon as we got back from our short shopping spree. She wouldn't let anyone in, not even Legolas!  
  
"Errgh!" Vanessa growled and stalked off to find her Hott-'N'-Sexy-Ranger- With-A-Nice-Butt (HNSRWANB) and I went to find Merry.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Eureka! I've got it!" Kitty yelled/announced as she ran into the room we were sitting in (the hobbits' and Gandalf's).  
  
"What? What have you got? Food?" Pippin asked anxiously.  
  
"NO! That would be nice though, but no. I've created the world's first portable forcefield!"  
  
"To do what with?" Legolas inquired, looking worried.  
  
"To protect you from fangirls, of course! Come on! Let's go try it out!"  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Umm...Kitty? Dearest?" Legolas said from inside the forcefield. "I can't move!"  
  
"What do you want to move for? Moving is highly overrated!"  
  
"Let me out!"  
  
"Fine," she pouted and complied with her husband's wishes.  
  
A/N~ Whoo! That was long! But it was fun! Review! 


	22. The Nameless Chapter

Chapter 22: The Nameless Chapter  
  
A/N~ Hehe. Funny. I'm so glad we get to go to school late tomorrow. Sleep! I locked myself in my room and I'm listening to my 'devil music' (Linkin Park), but my mom keeps banging on my door. I think she thinks I'm going through depression. Have you ever cut yourself with scissors? It kinda hurts. Anyway, here's my POV (Nessa) on this fic. Enjoy.  
  
A/N2~ Vanessa explained to me later she did not cut herself on purpose. She was cutting something outta the newspaper, or something, with the kitchen shears and they got away from her. I apologize if I don't update for a while. I'm really depressed right now. I don't mean 'I had a bad day so I'm depressed', I mean, like, really depressed. LotR and Stargate make it better though, so I'm still typing.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Legolas: *Runs in with bright red nails* Alright! Who did this?  
  
Me: *cracks up and giggles hysterically* I know... *mouths at Boromir* Kitty.  
  
Boromir: Not I, mate.  
  
Aragorn: See, I told you Elves are prisses! All they ever do is paint their nails and brush their long hair!  
  
Legolas: Well, human, at least I'm going to live forever. Got that? Eternity!  
  
Boromir & Me: *pull up chairs and popcorn*  
  
Aragorn: So? At least I'm not a priss!  
  
Legolas: *pulls out White Knives* Now you die, human!  
  
Aragorn: *pulls out Andúril* Never! *Runs with Legolas following*  
  
Me: I own nothing, but am thoroughly entertained.  
  
Boromir: As am I.  
  
"What are we going to do tonight?" Courtney asked from her spot next to Pippin.  
  
"I know!" I cried, probably scaring everyone in the room. "We can go to the movies!"  
  
"OK. That sounds like fun," Christy replied. "What exactly are we going to see? LotR isn't out anymore."  
  
"Well...what about Anger Management?" I offered.  
  
"I suppose," Courtney agreed.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Sup, dude?" I asked drunkenly. It's fun to do that to people because they grow to be afraid of you. "Umm...I need 13 tickets for Anger Management, please."  
  
"That'll be $65...dude," he added, stressing the word.  
  
I glared at him, but passed him the money and retrieved the tickets from his grasp. "Thanks," I said cheerfully. Then I turned to Aragorn and muttered, "Jerk!"  
  
He, in turn, laughed (a sexy laugh!) and rolled his eyes. "Come on, we need to find seats." So all 13 of us walked towards Theater 5 and searched for 13 seats together.  
  
We found 6 seats together and a row of 7 seats together. "I'm with Aragorn!" I cried, grabbed his arm, and grinned a possessed chipmunk look at my friends. "So anyone else is welcome to join us," I added.  
  
"Merry and I will come," Christy replied.  
  
"Sam, do you want to sit with those four?" Frodo asked.  
  
"I'll follow you anywhere," he answered, as if in a trance, and grabbed his master's hand and began absentmindedly stroking it. (I dunno why, but I started to think about Sean right there. I miss him! Stupid Klein High!) (I resent the slash implication there! And I miss Sean too! *Cries*)  
  
"Right..."  
  
So Kitty, Legolas, Gandalf, Courtney, Pippin, Boromir, and Gimli sat in the row of 7.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"I don't understand..." Boromir stated after the movie was over. "Why were those boys next to me playing with their pants when the girls were licking the chocolate?"  
  
"Umm...um..." I started. I looked at Christy. She too was trying quite hard to suppress a laugh. "I'll tell you when you're older."  
  
He threw his hands in the air. "I guess I'll never know," he said glumly.  
  
Aragorn tapped him on the shoulder and whispered something in the blonde man's ear. Boromir's eyes got quite large when he finally understood and it took all my self-control not to crack up.  
  
"Is anyone up for ice cream?" Kitty asked suddenly. "It's on me. WOW! Did I just say that?"  
  
"Yes, you said that and I'm going to take full advantage of it," I replied and laughed evilly.  
  
So I drove us to the ice cream parlor, since it was my turn, and I was in such a good mood, I put on the radio. Of course, no one was very happy about this though, because I listen to 'devil music', according to the cheerleaders at my school. And, to make things worse, I was singing along. Talk about a migraine! (No kidding! Gosh! I've told her a million times not to sing, but she still does!)  
  
"We're here! Finally!" Christy cried and piled over everyone to make it to the door first. "No more music! No more singing! Just ice cream!"  
  
"I didn't think I sang that bad," I said. Christy shot me a disbelieving look. "OK...I guess I do."  
  
Inside Oscar's Creamery, Kitty ordered a triple hot fudge sundae and a butt- load of whipped cream on top. We all stared at her. "What? I'm pregnant; I'm allowed."  
  
"Kits," I started, staring at the hefty load of ice cream she shoved in her mouth. "You're gonna get fat, not pregnant."  
  
She glared at me. ""Do you think they have any pickles? Pickle juice maybe? God! What does a person have to do around here to get a pickle?!"  
  
"Legolas? Do you think you could go over an calm down your wife?" Courtney asked.  
  
.~*~.  
  
Later that night, I was wrapped up in my cozy blanket and I walked across the hall to the 'big boy' room. I tentatively knocked on the door and smiled when Aragorn answered the door. "Hiya!" I said cheerfully. "Legolas, I thought you ought to know, your wife is going nutzo in our room because she missed Stargate. You might want to check it out." (Can you really blame her for going nutzo over missing Stargate? I'd go nutzo too! No Daniel? Ah, that's hell! ^.^)  
  
"Not again," he sighed and strode out of the room.  
  
I hopped over to one of the beds, on which Legolas had previously been laying on, and laid down. (I was hopping because I was wrapped in my blanket.)  
  
"What are you doing?" Boromir asked me.  
  
I cocked open an eye to get a better look at him. "You're confused a lot, aren't you? Must run in the family. What does it look like I'm doing Pincushion Boi?!"  
  
"It looks to me as if you're lying on my bed," he replied. "And why must you call me 'Pincushion Boi'? I do not look like, nor resemble, a pincushion!"  
  
"Chill, dude. There's no need to get an attitude with me."  
  
"But you're on my bed!"  
  
"Your point being?" I asked.  
  
"Get off!" he demanded.  
  
"Sheesh. All you had to do was ask. No reason to get nasty about it." So I hopped off the bed and worked my way to the other one.  
  
This time it was Gimli. "Get off my bed," he stated darkly.  
  
"What's with the grumpy old men?"(She does know that Aragorn was, I think, 82 when he went on the Quest, right?) I asked. "Aragorn's not being mean. I'm sure he'll let me lie down on the floor with him."  
  
"I wouldn't be so sure," I heard from down below. (OK, I really like him now!)  
  
"Hey! Well, you know what? Too bad! Bombs away!" I cried as I flopped down to the floor on top of him. "Hmm...This is actually quite comfortable. Good night."  
  
Aragorn sighed and began to playfully push me off. "Stop it, Buddy," I said each time he would push.  
  
"Boromir? Could you possibly help?" he asked.  
  
"Gladly." He reached down, hoisted me up, and threw me out of the room. He grinned evilly at me.  
  
I scrunched up my face and tried my best to scowl at him. "That was not very nice...Pincushion. You need to learn some manners. No wonder you never married."  
  
Aragorn tried his best not to laugh at his friend's astonished look and beckoned me back into the room. I stuck my tongue out at Boromir as I re- entered the room.  
  
.~*~.  
  
It was late before Legolas successfully calmed down Kitty and it was safe to go into the room. So, when he came back into the room, I was asleep on the floor.  
  
"Kitty has calmed down, so it is safe to go back in," Legolas said upon re- entering his room. "What should we do with Vanessa?"  
  
"Let her sleep; she's not in anyone's way," Aragorn answered.  
  
Legolas shrugged, shed his tunic (that one's for Kits!), and slid onto the bed. Aragorn turned out the light and soon everyone was more or less asleep. (Do Elves sleep? Or do they rest?)  
  
A/N~ I know, I know. The whole chapter was about me. Deal wid it! It's in whose POV? Oh, that's right. MINE!!! Goooo...Christy!!  
  
A/N2~ Yep, boring chapter. It's all about Vanessa. I like my next chapter better! And of course my disclaimer. BTW, if you didn't know, Orli and Viggo really did that whole "Elves are prisses; always doing nails..." "Yeah, well, I'm gonna live forever..." thing in real life. Just remember, you must feed my Unicorn, Sam, by reviewing. I know he's not scary like Aiden, but he's still awesome!! Bye! *Takes Vanessa at her word and goes* 


	23. Marriage and Chocolate Syrup

Chapter 23: Marriage and Chocolate Syrup  
  
A/N~ Uh...to copy the media, "Subject content may not be acceptable for children." Now that that's outta the way the fun part.  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Aragorn: *Runs past still holding Andúril* Priss!  
  
Legolas *Runs after Aragorn still holding White Knives* At least I'm immortal! Petty human!  
  
Me: See what I mean about this being pure entertainment?  
  
The Rest of the Fellowship and Courtney: *Pull up more chairs and popcorn* Yeah! This is great!  
  
Boromir: Where are Vanessa and Kitty?  
  
Courtney: Having the same fight.  
  
Boromir: But...I thought Kitty was a tomboy and, of course, Vanessa is a mortal. It makes no sense.  
  
Me: They never make sense. Why should they start now?  
  
Pippin: That's true!  
  
Me: Oh, anyone wanna do the disclaimer?  
  
Gandalf: I'll do it for my dear Vanessa!  
  
Me: *looks scared* OK...  
  
Gandalf: They do not own LotR, Moulin Rouge or chocolate syrup. They basically got the chocolate syrup idea from the Breegirls (Yes, that was a plug for them! ^.^). Enjoy!  
  
Me: Thank you, Gandalf. That was quite nice.  
  
"Uhhhhh," Kitty groaned. "What a night. And what a mess!" She eyed our room.  
  
"You made it," Vanessa reminded her. Vanessa had come back about an hour earlier, after the men had woken her up, of course.  
  
"I did?" Kitty asked, puzzled, if not confuzzled (I guess it's a mixture of 'confused' and 'puzzled'. Kitty thought it up.).  
  
"Yes!" Courtney told her, holding up a broken CD case.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because you missed Stargate!" I replied. "And since you made the mess, you get to clean it up!"  
  
"Won't anyone help me?" she inquired, using the puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Maybe Legolas will..." Courtney started to tell her and Vanessa and I joined, "...because we won't!"  
  
"Fine," she pouted and unhappily began cleaning.  
  
.~*~.  
  
Several hours later, Kitty came out of our room.  
  
"It's clean. Are you happy?"  
  
"Yes," Court replied and went back into it and came right back out. "It's noon and I'm hungry!"  
  
"I thought you'd never ask!" Kitty agreed. "Let's eat!"  
  
"Where?" Sam asked.  
  
"I dunno. I guess we could eat at CiCi's again," I suggested.  
  
"Sounds good to me," Vanessa agreed.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Why is that restaurant closed with people in it?" Gandalf asked, confused.  
  
"They saw us coming and remembered the last time we were here," Courtney said bluntly. "Come on, let's go find another one."  
  
"Food..." Kitty and the hobbits moaned.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"Okay, now what do y'all want to do?" Court asked after we had all eaten.  
  
There was a chorus of "I dunno's" given. I looked at Merry (always a good thing!) and an idea formed. (*Lightbulb clicks on*)  
  
"I wanna go shopping!" I cried.  
  
"No! No shopping!" Merry yelled.  
  
"Not that kind of shopping- grocery shopping!" I clarified, looking at Vanessa, to see if she caught my drift.  
  
She didn't.  
  
"Ugh! I can't believe she didn't get it!" "Come on, let's go! I want some chocolate syrup!"  
  
Vanessa's eyes lit up as she finally understood. "Whose turn is it to drive? Is it my turn?"  
  
"Nessa, the store's not that far. Let's just walk," Kitty said, patting her stomach, thinking of all that food waiting for her.  
  
.~*~.  
  
We hadn't been walking for very long before we came upon a 'business girl'. (This Vanessa's idea is; kill me not! Hehe! Like Yoda I sound. ^.^) The chick was dressed very skimpily. At the sight of her, we all moved closer to our men. Then came the dreaded moment when she spoke.  
  
"Hey, big boy. Would you like a private poetry reading? Or maybe some Dickens?" she asked, emphasizing the first syllable of the name.  
  
Vanessa, Courtney, Kitty, and I were confused. Who was she talking to? We all had our hobbit/Elf/man next to us. We turned around and looked.  
  
The woman had her arms around Gimli!  
  
"Oh, I think I'm gonna be sick!" Kitty groaned. That said it all; if Kitty couldn't take it, you know it was bad.  
  
"Hey, Vanessa. Who does she look like to you?" I asked, wondering if she saw the resemblance too.  
  
"Holy sh**! She looks like Arwench! Ugh! She's lucky she's not going after my HNSRWANB (Hott-'N'-Sexy-Ranger-With-A-Nice-Butt)! I'd have to kick her @$$!"  
  
.~*~.  
  
We finally managed to get Gimli away from the prostitute after 5 minutes of tug-of-war (We didn't want him back, but the boys said they still needed him for the Quest).  
  
"Wow! She must have been desperate!" Court giggled.  
  
"What did she mean by a 'private poetry reading' and 'some Dickens'?" Gimli asked, pronouncing it as she had.  
  
"Umm..." I stammered, trying not to crack up and keep a straight face. "We'll tell you when you're older."  
  
"But we're all older than you!" the Fellowship cried.  
  
"Well, you'll have to wait longer then!" Vanessa said and ended the conversation. "Look! An Elvis impersonator! (I don't know if they have those in New Zealand, but for the sake of the story, there is one. Also, I'm sorry for this part. I really like the idea Vanessa and I had, but I do have my scruples, maybe not very many, but I do have them. Therefore is part may seem corny/stupid, but deal with it!)"  
  
"Oh! Let's go get married!" Merry exclaimed and drew some weird looks.  
  
"Isn't this a bit sudden?" Courtney asked.  
  
"No. He asked me a while ago. And y'all thought all we did was make out! Let's go. Oh, wait. We, at least, need some rings, a best man, and a maid of honor. Does anyone have some rings we could borrow?"  
  
"Here, use this," Aragorn nobly lent us his and Court gave us one of hers.  
  
"Who's the best man and maid of honor?" Kitty asked as we headed to Elvis's church.  
  
"Well, my best friend is Vanessa," I said.  
  
"OK, we have the best man then," Kitty joked and ran behind Legolas as Aragorn held Vanessa back. "Just joking! Hehe!" She grinned.  
  
"And the best man is Pippin, because he's Merry's best friend. The rest of you are bridesmaids and groomsmen."  
  
"Awesome!" Gandalf cheered. "But I don't have a thing to wear!"  
  
"Pansy!" Vanessa muttered.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"...I now pronounce you husband and wife," Bob, the Elvis impersonator, announced. "You may kiss the bride."  
  
Merry and I took the man at his word.  
  
"Hey! Break it up! I want my chocolate syrup!" Vanessa demanded, reminding me of the whole purpose of the walk.  
  
"Let's go get it then! And some cherries and some whipped cream!" I was really getting into it, considering that it was now my 'honeymoon'. Kitty was just foaming at the mouth at the thought of all the food the grocery store had to offer.  
  
"Let's get moving!" she demanded.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"And what exactly is this chocolate syrup for?" Aragorn asked Vanessa when we made it back to the hotel. The return trip was uneventful (translation: no prostitute) and that was fine with us!  
  
"You'll find out later," she whispered back. "Take that Arwench!"  
  
"OK, um... could we re-arrange the sleeping quarters tonight?" I asked once the food was all put away.  
  
"Why?" Frodo asked, clueless.  
  
I rolled my eyes. "Would someone please explain the finer (and more fun) points of the honeymoon/wedding night to him?"  
  
Boromir saw his chance to explain something to someone and whispered what it meant to Frodo, whose face when beet red. "Ohhhhhhhh!!! No! I like my bed! I don't want anything to happen to my precious!!"  
  
"OoooooKkkkk! Freak! I'm not gonna say it! I'm not gonna say it!"  
  
"Say it," Gimli prompted.  
  
"No. I have no desire to share what I am thinking."  
  
"Why won't you say it?" Kitty asked.  
  
"Because it's not 'G' and you'd slap me."  
  
"OK, good reason!" Legolas re-affirmed my belief in his wife's violent nature.  
  
(I really did have something I was gonna write, but I forgot what it was the next time I got a chance to write, so I put that. All I remembered was that it wasn't 'G'.)  
  
"Anyhoo, since Frodo doesn't want anything to happen to his 'precious', and I still have some money (Yeah, right! I'm so poor, I don't think I could afford any of the stuff we do in this fic! But it's fiction, so it's allowed.), Merry and I will get our own room for the night!" At their shocked faces, I added. "Besides, I want a Jacuzzi! (^.^)"  
  
"Oh, OK," Court said, and motioned for us to leave, which we did taking our food and luggage with us.  
  
I dunno about Vanessa, but that night I think I visited heaven! (hehehe!)  
  
A/N~ OK, bad. I know. You don't have to tell me that. It didn't turn out the way I planned it, but that's OK. The end sucked cuz Nessa was all "Give me the spiral!!!! Grrr! (She went into attack hobbit mode! ^.^)", but that's OK. Now to take a line, and twist it, here goes. You know that yellow fish in the tank (I've personally never seen the movie, but we have Disney, so...) that freaks out when the little treasure chest is opened and he swims over yelling 'Bubbles!' then he closes the chest and hugs it and says 'My bubbles'? Yeah, that's what I'm ripping off. *Opens inbox* Reviews!!!! *Looks to see if Vanessa is there, she is and is coming after the reviews* MY reviews!!!! Hehehe! Just review, before I add more quotes! And sadly enough there is only one more chapter after this one! *Cries* 


	24. parting is such sweet sorrow

Chapter 24: Parting is such sweet sorrow  
  
A/N~ Christy, you are so mean to me. You said I dragged him into the room? Yeah, right. And I'm the devil. And yes, I'm going to have some fun. P.S. This chapter was supposed to be, like, NC-17, but stupid ff.net doesn't allow that. I'm gonna go cry (on Aragorn's shoulder). Also, this is going to be the last chapter. I'm sure you can handle it; there's gonna be a sequel anyway.  
  
A/N2~ Yes, I am mean. What's your point? BTW, I don't know what the whole 'drag' thing was from, I think one of my notes, but not sure. You can't be the devil! I'm the devil! ^.^ Yep. Yet another sequel. I'll start typing it as soon as I get a chance. Fun, fun, fun!  
  
Disclaimer:  
  
Me: It's the last chapter.  
  
Boromir: Aw. Does it have to end? I'm having too much fun.  
  
Me: Yes, Boromir. All good things (and this) must come to an end.  
  
Aragorn: Does that mean we can have the 'End of Fic' party now?  
  
Me: Yep! And everyone's invited, all our reviewers and my precious sedative!  
  
Michael Shanks: What am I doing here? *Looks confused*  
  
Me: You're here to be my sedative in case I get too hyper; that way I don't scare off the reviewers.  
  
Michael: OK. *Looks scared* Me: Don't worry. I've got my husband. *Kisses Merry* Everybody party! Whoo!  
  
Vanessa: Disco fever!  
  
Gandalf: *Sneaks up behind her and kisses her cheek* Hello, my precious flower.  
  
Vanessa: Aragorn! Gandalf's touching me!  
  
Gandalf: AHHHH!!!! *Runs as Aragorn chases with Andúril*  
  
The next morning we stepped out of the 'big boys' room (that's the one we took) and headed across the hall to the 'little boys' room. I took one last look at the room. It was quite a mess. There was chocolate all over the sheets and floor. I smiled. "Some poor housekeeping woman has to clean all that," I thought.  
  
"Howdy all!" I said as Aragorn and I walked into the room (hand in hand, duh! As if I would have it any other way). We seemed to be in the right place because everyone else was in there, save Christy and Merry.  
  
They looked up, saw it was only Aragorn and me, mumbled an unenthusiastic response, and turned back to their business.  
  
"Well, good morning to you, too," I replied sarcastically.  
  
"What's so good about it?" Gimli huffed grumpily. He was still quite mad that we dragged him away from the 'business woman' the day before.  
  
Courtney turned on the TV and Aragorn sat down on the floor to watch it. I crawled to sit on his lap and leaned against him as he put his arms around my waist. Aren't Rangers/Kings comfy?! Hell yeah!  
  
We watched TV for a while (it was a daytime Stargate SG-1 marathon! Much to Kitty's and my pleasure) (A daytime Stargate marathon and I'm missing it?! What's wrong with me? Well, maybe I'm not missing it. *Shrugs* Who knows.), until it was decided that we should begin packing. Unfortunately, it was our last day here in New Zealand.  
  
So I headed back to my room with Kitty and Courtney in tow. We silently packed our belongings and dragged them into the hobbits' room. We had decided that that was to be the meeting room, because the other boys' room was still covered with chocolate syrup. I guess Aragorn and I weren't as careful as I thought.  
  
Once inside the room, we decided to go fetch Christy and Merry as checkout time was at 1 o'clock. Kitty and Legolas volunteered (well, Kitty volunteered the both of them) to do this job.  
  
"Well, OK," Courtney said. "But come right back! Don't dawdle." Man, she was in full mother mode.  
  
"OK, OK," Kitty replied, grabbing Legolas's hand and skipping out the door. About 20 minutes later they returned with Christy and Merry and all their luggage. Actually, it was all Christy's, because Merry didn't have any.  
  
"So...did you have fun?" I asked her, a sly grin creeping onto my face. If I knew her, and I hope I do, she had mucho fun with that hobbit. (First off, what kind of question is that?! It was my wedding night and I had chocolate syrup. Stupid question!)  
  
She turned to look at Merry, then back at me. "What do you think?" Christy asked, raising an eyebrow (I pulled a Teal'c!)  
  
I started to reply with a snarky comment, but Aragorn silenced me. He did so by placing one hand over my mouth and wrestling me to the ground. Of course, he won.  
  
"Alright, alright! I give in! I won't say it," I said from underneath him.  
  
"Promise?" he asked, smiling.  
  
I tried my best to scowl at him. "Yeah, sure, whatever."  
  
Slowly, he started to rise, removing his hands, which were pinning my wrists to the floor. He stood up and lent me a hand to get up. Suddenly an idea struck me. I grinned mischievously, and grabbed his hand and pulled him back on the ground. He was lying on his back and I sat on his stomach.  
  
"I win!" I cried.  
  
"Stop flirting, you two! (It's sickening!)" Christy called over at us. I stuck my tongue out at her and she returned it.  
  
"Stop acting like children," Aragorn cried jokingly beneath me. (That is so us and we are children buddy! At least compared to your 82 yr. old self!)  
  
"You know what, buddy? You're in no position to make comments like that. Need I remind you who it is sitting upon you?"  
  
Christy scoffed and went to go sit with Merry. Or should I say her new husband? Wow, that's a weird thought. Christy Brandybuck. It just didn't have that ring to it. (OK, fine. I'll change it to Christine. And it rings waaay better than 'Estella Brandybuck' does!)  
  
"If you two are done," Courtney began, looking straight at Aragorn and me. "We are ready to check out."  
  
So at 12:47 we were officially checked out of the hotel. I couldn't believe our Spring Break was almost over. It seemed like only yesterday we were in my suburban (well, packed is a better word for it), on our way to the airport.  
  
"What do we do now?" Kitty asked. "We still have a few hours before our flight."  
  
"I would say the mall, but I know how the guys feel about that," Courtney said.  
  
"How about food?" Boromir asked.  
  
"I can go for that..." I answered, looking around at the others for their input.  
  
.~*~.  
  
We ended up eating at Jason's Deli because it was the only place we could agree on. Well, the hobbits couldn't agree on anything.  
  
At the end of our meal, everyone grabbed about 6 free mints each and ran to the car. We ran because the sign below the basket read: "Complimentary mints: Two per customer please". And if you're pretty good at math, you'd know that 62. (Hehe. Sorry, TAKS ruined my mind.)  
  
"Where to now?" I asked. "Our flight's at 5."  
  
"I guess," Courtney replied. "But I don't want to leave my Pippin!!"  
  
So Courtney drove us to the airport (she drives the slowest) and allowed us more time to say 'goodbye'. FYI: Our definition of that is more commonly referred to as 'making out'. Tehe.  
  
Once we arrived at the airport, we began to unload our bags. We had to place them on the roof of the SUV because there wasn't enough room inside.  
  
Boromir was in the process of handing me a particularly large bag when I dropped it and sent him crashing down. "What did you do that for?!" (Yeah! He's Pincushion Boi, not Crushed-like-a-bug Boi!)  
  
I was unable to answer at the moment, for the sight before my eyes was too horrifying. There, standing at the entrance, was John, Josh, and Maha. Maha was in tears, holding his pink carry-on case close to him while Josh held John's hand.  
  
"I wonder what's wrong," I said to nobody in particular. "I'm going to find out." I walked towards the three guys. "Hey, guys. What's up?"  
  
"Maha is moving," John replied tearfully. (BTW, Maha really did move! Yea! That's what prompted her to write this scene.)  
  
"Oh, OK," I said, returning to my group. "Maha is moving, and John and Josh are trying to comfort him. Well, not really."  
  
Christy gasped. "Oh...my...gosh! Maha is moving?! There is a god! (Yep! It's caffeine &/or Tolkien! ^.^ ) Thank you!"  
  
We proceeded inside and turned in our luggage to be put on the plane. "I have a feeling they're going to lose my stuff," I mumbled.  
  
.~*~.  
  
"I'm going to miss you," Courtney cried while hugging Pippin very close. It was a wonder he could still breathe.  
  
Kitty was doing much the same with Legolas, except she was crying hysterically. "Don't leave me! Don't leave me!" He tried his best to calm her down. It was to no avail.  
  
I had my arms wrapped tight around Aragorn's neck, hugging him like there was no tomorrow. Every couple of seconds I would kiss him, but I didn't want to cry. (I cry at long good-byes.)  
  
Christy was just standing there next to Merry, holding his hand. (Like I ever do that!) "Why aren't you saying goodbye?" I asked her when I finally broke from Aragorn.  
  
"Because I'm going with him," she replied. (Damn straight I am!)  
  
"Oh, no you're not!" Kitty, Courtney, and I yelled.  
  
"Yes, I am. I'm married to him anyway." (Exactly!)  
  
"So is Kitty (not to Merry) and she's leaving," Courtney said.  
  
"Fine," she scoffed and started to make out with Merry. (I would never agree to leave him! Also, I don't know what Vanessa meant to put after the 'and' because she just left it blank, so I put my own words in.)  
  
I turned back to my Ranger and kissed him deeply. Ooo...it was so great. Save the fact that I didn't know when I would see Aragorn again.  
  
Some old lady walked by and tapped me on the shoulder (Please tell me this will not lead to a make-out session. I mean, you know her habit of being tapped on the shoulder leading to making out. I really hope Alex wasn't right about her! ^.^ Speaking of which, Nessa, Did you smack him for me?). "PDA's are strictly forbidden."  
  
I flicked her off and continued my kiss.  
  
"I guess this is good-bye," I said to the Fellowship and hugged them. Then all four of us boarded the plane and went home.  
  
A/N~ Acckk! The end! Don't worry, there's a sequel to be on the way soon. Chill. I hope you enjoyed this. Don't forget to review.  
  
A/N2~ OK, sorry for that note in the middle of her 3rd to last paragraph. I couldn't resist. It's because I'm so sleep-deprived and we start school *shudder* in less than a month! Great! *Rolls eyes* Anyhoo, NEVER forget to review! You've got to feed my Unicorn, Sam, and his twin, Ewan, along with Aiden, so make it a long review! ^.^  
  
Commercial:  
  
Legolas: Are you sad this fic is over?  
  
Aragorn: Need your daily (or as close to as they can get) dose of hobbitgirls insanity?  
  
Merry: Well, you're in luck! Why's that, you ask.  
  
Pippin: Because another fic is on the way.  
  
Me: OK, here's the synopsis. We (Courtney, Kitty, Vanessa, and I) go on a cruise. On said cruise, we meet Alex and he decides to torment us. Little does he know the tables are about to turn, because guess who shows up. The Fellowship! Good job! That's about as far as we've gotten so you'll get the first five chapters then you gotta wait until we write them! Fun, huh? 


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